TheDood Goes To War Against Local Affilliates And Gus Johnson Calls Game, Blogosphere Collectively Jacks Off

I'm storming the halls of local affiliates. Okay, actually only one. That's WTTE in Columbus, Ohio. A majority of Fox affiliates in the east had either Green Bay-Minnesota or Washington-Tennessee at 1:00 scheduled. What do those in Columbus (me) get? Tampa Bay-San Francisco Why? Because former Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith was starting for the 'Niners and Ted Ginn is a Niner receiver. That's it.

But what irks me more is that every non-doubleheader week on Fox, WTTE will only show a late game for what reason I don't know (I am 99.9% sure they can show an early game on a non-doubleheader Sunday). The last time Fox had just a single game was Week 9, and it just so happens that their "A" game was a late one (Giants-Seahawks). Before that, Cardinals-Seahawks. It was shown sporatically throughout the east. It was shown in the Cleveland and Columbus markets probably because former Ohio State running back Beanie Wells plays for the Cardinals and former Brown Derek Anderson was their quarterback. Week 5 we had Falcons-Bronws, which is understandable since it was an in-state team. Fine. Let's go further back.

Week 3. Jacksonville-Philly (switched from Detroit-Minnesota. The "B" game). About the only purpose that serves me is it's the only game I have this season with John Lynch and Ron Pitts. And finally, Week 2. Seahawks-Broncos, a "B" game however. But why? Why switch?

I doubt it's because of NFL rules, because why would we be scheduled for the "A" or "B" game in the first place? Obviously we would still be in compliance with NFL rules if that game is scheduled in the first place.

But the fun continues. Next week the Bengals play on the NFL Network and the Browns play on Fox. Jim Nantz and Phil Simms have Sunday off. CBS's "A" game is Jacksonville-New York Giants. What does WBNS schedule? Freakin' Steelers at Bills. I know there are a lot of Steelers fans in Columbus and it must be rough for them being subjected to the crap from the Ohio teams, but seriously, of all games, the Bills?

Overreaction Monday: I hate to bring up the Vikings and Brett Favre for the enth straight week, but late Monday, the Vikings fired Brad Childress, a coach with a 39-35 record. Is he cold? Yes. Does he not get along well with people? No. Was he a players' coach? No, but neither is Bill Belichick and neither was Bill Parcells. Needless to say, this is a dumb move on the part of the Vikings. It's not just one person's fault that the Vikings are 3-7. No, it's not even Brett Favre's fault, but he has a lot to do with it. See, when a team is struggling, the first place blame is placed is either on the coach or the quarterback, and since Brett Favre is so overly-respected and will never be benched, Childress was at fault, thus he was fired. It was clear that the Vikings season was done, but I was hoping that at the end of the season the organization would burn the bridges with Favre much in the way they did with Moss and give Childress another chance.

Stat of the Week: The NFC West went 0-4 on Sunday, the second time this season the NFC West has done so.

Stat of the Week 2: The Seattle Seahawks lead the NFC West with a 5-5 record.

Stat of the Week 3: The Jaguars had six turnovers and won.

It's clear that Norv Turner doesn't have too many fans, either in his players, the media, or followers of the Chargers. But a coach really doesn't need to. Whatever he does makes his teams built for the postseason and winning when his team needs a playoff spot. Currently the Chargers are 5-5, 2nd in the division. They play the Colts next week on Sunday night and after that they have an easy, easy schedule, playing all the AFC West teams again and the Bengals. 10-6 is not out of the question for this team. Imagine if they beat the Colts, though (upest alert?) Phillip Rivers is now 39-5 in the months of November, December, and January. And after losses to the Raiders and the Broncos, I don't have much confidence that the Chiefs have it for the playoffs.

Statgeekery: Don't buy too much into when you hear that Ryan Fitzpatrick is 7th in the league in touchdown passes. There are currently four quarterbacks with 18 touchdown passes (Fitzpatrick, Palmer, Cassel, Ryan). And with all the talk of Kyle Orton and his possible 5,000-yard season, don't forget that he is in fact fourth in the league in passing yards. Peyton Manning is the leader with 3,059. Manning is, however, on-pace for over 700 passing attempts, which would be a record. Rivers has a better chance of getting 5,000 yards than any of them. Conversely, the top 10 leaders in yardage are all on-pace for at least 4,000 yards, which even five years ago was unheard of.

Roddy White is on-pace to have an absolutely monster season. He leads the league in both receptions and receiving yards. So far, he has 79 grabs, a pace of 126, and 1,017 yards, a pace of 1,627 yards.

College Football Score From Teams You've Never Heard Of: Trine 45, DePauw 35. D-III Playoffs, First Round.

Final Note: I'm noticing something in all of the broadcasts with CBS #1 people that I've seen, and that's that the shots of the coaches on the sidelines are always blurry and out-of-focus and it seems that the camera operator is always trying to fix it, but to no avail. And during last Sunday's broadcast of Pats-Colts, Simms had a cold, and as each quarter would wear-on, his voice would go, but then during the commercial break between quarters, he would suck down a lozenge or spray that fake saliva stuff. And him and Jim Nantz have a short week as they'll be calling the early game on Thanksgiving, Lions-Patriots.

Week 8; Vikings, Cowboys, Fix Your Teams in One Easy Step!

I'm watching Fox NFL Sunday for once and they're talking about Brett Favre. I never thought I'd here Terry Bradshaw say something smart, but he just has. He remarked that every time a quarterback throws, he puts most of his weight on his left foot, which Favre has two broken bones in (as well as an injury in his elbow). Yes! Jimmy Johnson agrees! He also says that's it's okay to sit a game, and that Favre's good throws have been outweighed by his bad ones. Yes! Micheal Strahan says no coach has the balls (he said cajones, or however you spell it) to bench Favre. Yes! However Troy Aikman did his share of Favre-loving, especially after Favre took a big hit in the second half.

It is so refreshing to hear some media criticism of Favre, and not everybody apologizing for his bad plays and calling Brad Childress a lame-duck coach. Lately, I have gotten so tired of ESPN's love-affair of Favre that I have all but boycotted ESPN, other than Mike and Mike and the 11:00 SportsCenter ("The Blitz" segments only. The rest of the show I fast-forward through.)

How To Fix The Cowboys: Sorry to sound like a broken record, but Wade Phillips needs to go, and so does Jerry Jones. I've never like owners like Jerry Jones or Al Davis, who consider themselves "player's coaches". Players can't coach themselves, and when they're payed millions of dollars, they develop egos. To keep their egos in check, they need a powerful coach to keep them in line (Bill Parcells). The problem, according to owners like Jones, is that they want too much power, they want in on personnel decisions and the draft, which is how Parcells was ousted from New England after the Super Bowl loss to the Packers. It's not the players. The Cowboys are way too talented of a team to be 1-6. When Bill Parcells was the coach, he had inferior talent to what the Cowboys have now, but they were disciplined. They were not penalized a lot and players were not "larger" than the team. Also, JerryWorld is not exactly a stadium where home field advantage is much of a factor. See, it's so big that the crowd noise largely unaffects the opposing team. And even worse, every Cowboys game so far this season has been nationally televised.

Cowboys TV Schedule:

Week 1: Sunday Night
Week 2: #1 game of regional weekend on Fox (if an affiliate did not have local obligations, it is recommended they show this game, unless you're WTTE)
Week 3: #1 game of regional weekend on Fox
Week 4: Bye
Week 5: second game of doubleheader on CBS, shown to majority of country
Week 6: second game of doubleheader on Fox, shown to majority of country
Week 7: Monday Night
Week 8: #1 game of regional weekend on CBS
Week 9: Sunday Night
Week 10: second game of doubleheader on Fox
Week 11: play Lions. Likely not #1 game but stranger things have happened
Week 12: Thanksgiving Game on Fox
Week 13: second game of doubleheader on Fox
Week 14: scheduled for Sunday Night, could change because of Flex Scheduling
Week 15: play at 1:00 against the Redskins, might actually not be on national TV
Week 16: play Cardinals on NFL Network, Christmas
Week 17: play Eagles at 1:00

How To Fix The Vikings (Note: this was written before Moss was cut): ESPN's golden boy quarterback is the 30th-ranked quarterback in the NFL (there are 32 teams). He didn't play horribly last night and the Vikings were largely in the game for most of it but he did get hurt and had to be carried of the field. I'll say this again, there is no way the Vikings with Brett Favre, Adrian Peterson, Randy Moss and their defense should be 2-5. No way. Favre has thrown costly interceptions in every game this season. Honestly how bad would Tarvaris Jackson be? Maybe they should reinstate the 5/8th clause? Where of every eight passes thrown, at least five should go to Randy Moss. And if you make him feel like an important part of the offense, he will catch all five passes that come his way. Favre will never want to not play unless he basically can't move, somebody (Childress) needs to take the initiative and do something. With their players, how bad would Jackson be?

So where should Moss go? How about Dallas? I haven't heard that discussed anywhere yet. That means it's either genius or stupid.

Chiefs (5-2), Raiders (4-4), Chargers (3-5), too much to say that the AFC West could actually be the most exciting division in football this season? The Chargers are making their late-season run and they have a relatively easy schedule from here on out. The Raiders have won their past two games by a combined score of 92-17, and are getting hot at the right time of the season, but so are the Chiefs, who happen to play the Raiders in Oakland next week and then the Broncos after that.

Thankfully the game in London was actually a game, which it has the perpetuity to not be. Hopefully the crowd did not know they were watching two of the worst NFL teams playing before their eyes. There was a Tim Tebow sighting, as I'm sure you know. And I'm sure you know too that he scored a touchdown. And how bad is the Broncos defense if they gave up 24 points and allowed Troy Smith (Troy Smith!) to complete 12 of 19 passes. Either that or Troy Smith is really good. Frank Gore also had 118 yards rushing.

Just for some amusment, here is a column from a local meatball, calling for the benching of Orton in favor of Tebow "to save the season" all the whille using the Tebow-as-a-Christian theme to fall the writers' cliches back on.

Then we have this lovely post from pro-football-reference. To sum it up: the Patriots are 6-1 for the fourth time in Belichick's career, but they're basically terrible; opportunistic on defense while giving up a lot of yards and who-dat talent (will they be Gregg Easterbrook's team he will gush about every week for having a few select undrafted or lowly drafted players that make plays once in awhile?)

I'll just say this as an argument against Easterbrook. Deion Branch, Patrick Chung, Brandon Spikes and Rob Gronkowski are second round picks. Jerod Mayo, Brandon Meriweather, and Devin McCourty are first round picks. Most of the defense is made up of highly drafted players, although running back Danny Woodhead, the Patriots MVP up to this point, went undrafted out of Chadron State (of Chadron, Nebraska).

College Football Scores From Teams You've Never Heard Of:

Score #1: Washington & Lee 49, Catholic U 14. Two guys beating a whole team? Impressive!

Score #2: Stonehill 41, St. Anelm 27

Next Week: The Broncos, Titans, Jaguars, Redskins, Rams, and 49ers have byes next week. A Bills upset against the Bears to get off the schnide possible? Lots of good divisional games next week (Bucs-Falcons, Chiefs-Raiders). And once again we get to see the loser Cowboys on national TV. Don't worry, there are only two weeks until flex scheduling beings, so hopefully we won't be seeing much of the Cowboys and Vikings on national TV.

Yes I Am Drinking The Bears' Kool-Aid

Note: This has been a very busy week for me, so I'm slowly writing this blog day-by-day, so that's why this didn't come out on Tuesday.

Yeah both teams played sloppily Tuesday night and yes two Jay Cutler interceptions were nullified by penalties, that's Jay Cutler, he takes chances and throws interceptions. Does Peyton Manning take chances? Does Tom Brady? Newsflash: they do. The difference is Brady and Manning have better personnel, and in the case of the Colts, I would say elite. What the Bears have going for them is they have an elite coach in Mike Martz. Sportsyak like to bang on Martz for every little thing. Yes he is a control freak and gets mean when things don't go his way. Did he make mistakes as coach of the Rams? Absolutely. Remember in the off-season after the Super Bowl loss to the Patriots? He cut ties with several defensive superstars, including London Fletcher, and came under fire when ordering a field goal at the end of regulation in the playoff game against the Panthers. I would admit that Martz is not the best when it comes to personnel decisions but he is a bona fide offensive genious, and has been for the past decade.

What's different about Martz's offenses is that a.) a defense simply cannot scheme against it. You expect pass on every play, but if you defense for that, you'll get run and vise-versa. b.) his offense does not audibleize that much. They come to line, have crazy motions, and then snap the ball with very little pre-snap "chicken dancing" from the quarterback. c.) he likes to control the pace. If the game is flowing slowly, he'll loosen it up by passing. If it's going super quick, he'll slow it down by calling a few runs.

Martz has recognized that the Bears do not have the talent or the o-line the caliber of his St. Louis teams, so he does not call passes that involve Jay Cutler dropping back, holding the ball for seven seconds and heaving the ball 60 yards for a big gain. The Bears offensive line simply cannot handle that. Even when the Packers rushed just three, it seems they hurried Cutler into moving outside the pocket for time to throw.

The Bears' defense is opportunistic, which is scary. They don't steal the spotlight with mega-bucks talent or monster turnovers, they just play good defense, much like the Bengals. So while the sports media are drinking the Michael Vick Kool-Aid, I'll take the Bears.

In other NFL news, the Micheal Vick beat a crappy team and Steelers can win without Ben Roethlisberger and the Chiefs, the freakin' Chiefs are 3-0. Maybe from now on I should call them "Patriots West" because their quarterback, offensive coordinator, linebacker and defensive coordinator used to be with the Patriots.

Browns Rant of the Week:

Another new feature to this blog. Living in Ohio I see the Browns week-in and week-out. They are making progress somewhat, but it's painful to watch sometimes. I have my doubts about the Ravens. They gave up 173 yards rushing to the Browns and fullback Peyton Hillis. And they would have given up more if it had not been for the conservative play calling of the Browns. They had spurts of aggressiveness, like on their very first drive where they threw on the first two plays and picked up considerable gains. And then there were two third and longs where they threw a rinky-dink screen on one, and simply and run up the middle that got stuffed on another.

And then there's their defense. On the game-icing touchdown to Anquan Boldin, the Browns blitzed eight, leaving Boldin practically uncovered. Thankfully though, that was really the only Browns defensive blunder of the game.

They need a lot of work to become a good team; cut down on penalties and loosen up on offense. I do however think they have the coaches and talent to be a .500 team.

Adventures in Officiation: The conclusion of the Saints-Falcons overtime game was, well, interesting. With two minutes remaining in the first overtime period the Falcons attempted a 41-yard field goal to win the game. The kick was blocked by the Saints, but...Sean Payton called one of those stupid timeouts just as the ball was snapped, nullifying the try as well as the block. On the second try Matt Bryant's field goal was good, but...the Falcons were penalized for a false start, pushing them back five yards. On the third try, this time from 46-yards, the kick was good with no timeouts or penalties and the game was over. Anyone else think the sneaky timeout before the field goal think is kind of stupid?

Charlie Batch Best Backup QB Ever?: Charlie Batch, Steelers backup quarterback, is 36 and has been in the league for 13 seasons. A second-round pick of the Lions in 1998 he started 12 games for the team in his rookie year (which was Barry Sanders' last before his abrupt retirement) and went 5-7, accounting for all five of the Lions wins that year. Batch was the highest-rated of the three starting quarterbacks of the Lions that season, going 173 for 303 for 2,178 yards with 11 touchdowns and six interceptions. Not bad for a rookie, especially one that was thrown into a less-than-ideal situation. And he did throw a 98-yard pass to Johnnie Morton, the longest pass of the season. The next season the Lions were 8-8 and made the playoffs even without Sanders. Batch started 10 games, going 6-4. Despite not being the leading passer for the team that year he still led the team in touchdowns with 13 and threw the same amount of INTs (7) as Gus Frerotte, who started the remaining six games.

The next season, 2000, the Lions were 9-7, which happens to be the last time the Lions have had a winning season. A miracle field goal by the Bears kept the Lions out of the playoffs. Batch was the primary starter, starting 15 games. Batch went 221 for 412 for 2,489 yards with 13 touchdowns and 15 interceptions.

2001 was a disasterous season for the Lions. They only won two games. Ty Detmer was coach Marty Mornhinweg's starter. But after throwing seven interceptions and a bad showing against the Rams, Detmer was benched and Batch became the starter.

Since 2002 Batch has been on the Steelers staff but has only started five games in that span, but has always been effective and efficient. And unless Roethlisberger really struggles or gets hurt, then it's doubtful that we'll see him again this year.

Useless Stats Section:

Stat #1: The Seahawks and Cardinals are tied for the lead in the NFC West. Remember when we all thought the road in the NFC playoffs would go through San Francisco? The 49ers will be lucky to have a winning season based on the way they look and the way things are going.

Stat #2: The Giants have turned the ball over 10 times so far this season, the Colts, twice.

Stat #3: The Vikings have the 29th ranked offense in the NFL.

Stat #4: With one more interception, Favre will match his total from last season...in the fourth game.

Stat #5: The Cowboys are on pace to throw 688 passes this season.

Brett Favre Rant of the Week:

Adrian Peterson has almost 392 yards rushing already this season, that's a 2,091 yard pace, and with Favre playing as bad as he is, he's going to need every one of those yards. Favre threw two more interceptions, bringing his total to six in this young season. If he throws one more he'll have the same amount of interceptions as last year. Not all hope is lost for the Vikings though, they'll just have to rely less on Favre this season, and it's still unclear if he's injured, in pain, or just plain old. Next week the Vikings have a bye.

College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Score #1: Southern Connecticut State 28, American International 7

Bonus Score: St. John Fisher 34, Hobart 14

CFSFSNYNHO Basketball-Football Score: Macalester 44, Crown College 41

CFSFSNYNHO Blowout of the Week: Southwest Baptist 69, Southern Nazarene 27

On TV Next Week: This week Fox has the doubleheader. I'll be seeing the "Battle of Ohio 2010 1.0" at 1:00 on CBS. Meanwhile on Fox at 1:00 I'll be seeing Saints-Falcons and Redskins-Eagles at 4:15. The Sunday Night game is Bears-Giants and Monday Night is Dolphins-Patriots. The Chiefs, Cowboys, Buccaneers, and Vikings, a combined record of 8-5, have byes next week.

DSDBNF The Brett Favre is Old and Needs to Retire Edition (And Other Stuff From Week I)

See, even Brett Favre needs training camp! Man, oh man did the Vikings look lost and out-of-synch in the season opener and man, oh man did the Saints look poised and sharp. This won't be like last season when the Vikings started off playing the likes of Cleveland, Detroit, and St. Louis. Their middle-of-the-season schedule is murder, with the Jets, Cowboys, Pats, and Packers - three of which are away games. Forget the fact that the Vikings didn't have two of their star wide receivers, Favre barely looked their way. It seems he's rustier than he ever thought he would be, and it seems in nearly every press conference I bother to watch of his, he going on and on about how is ankle still bothers him and how old he is. If you think you're that old and rickety, retire!

Now for the Saints. And even though they scored only 14 points, they looked sharp, and on-target. Brees completed 75% of his passes to nine different receivers, and Pierre Thomas had a good day running the football. Their defense looked just as good as it did last year and instead of blitzing, they played tight coverage on the Vikings, which caught them, especially Favre, off-guard.

The Bengals thought that the season started next week instead of at 1:00 PM on the 12th. Now even though they lost, their offense didn't look that bad, and there was a healthy balance of Owens and Ochocino (and they were effective), although Jordan Shipley had the better game receiving than those two did. I wouldn't worry about the Bengals yet.

I wouldn't even worry about the Colts who got shocked by Houston, the team that led the league in passing last season, racked up 257 yards rushing, and their defenders bothered Manning when the game was contested, forcing him to step up and throw hurriedly, most of the time incomplete. Is it too much to say that the Texans are for real? And how sweet would it be if the Texans are vying for a Super Bowl victory in JerryWorld this January.

Jerry Rice Seahawks Spokesman?: Rice is undoubtedly the best skill position player in NFL history. He has had strained relation with the 49ers, the team that made him a star, ever since they cut him after the 2000 season. Rice attended a Seahawks practice and fired up the team and may have been the catalyst for the Seahawks' upset victory over the Niners.

Speaking of the 49ers, Alex Smith looked horrid as usual. He threw 45 passes for a mere 225 yards and threw two costly interceptions and Frank Gore had only 38 yards on the ground. Painfully more, the Niners punted in the fourth quarter in Seahawk territory trailing 28-6.

Random Stat #1: Pete Carroll won his first game as an NFL coach since January 2, 2000, a 20-3 victory over the Ravens (Carroll was the coach of the Patriots then).

Random Stat #2: The past three times the Steelers and Falcons have met, the game has gone into overtime.

Matt Forte The Next Marshall Faulk?: Forte had 201 yards from scrimmage (151 receiving, 51 rushing). Very Marshall Faulk-like in that sense, however Forte fumbled twice, something Faulk seldom did. And remember too that the Bears offensive coordinator is Mike Martz.

Random Stat #3: The Steelers have not lost an opening day game since 2002.

We're All Professionals Here: Derek Anderson complete a mere 51% of his passes and Sam Bradford, 58%. While both quarterbacks made some key throws, neither looked spectacular. And if Rams' coaches keep radioing-in this many passes, then Bradford shall have plenty of in-game experience!

Sweet But Futile Play: It's too bad the Browns honked a 14-point lead because Mohamed Massaquoi's touchdown pass from Jack Delhomme was flippin' sweet. On the other hand, the Bucs have been so bad the past couple years that I forgot that Ronde Barber even still played in the NFL (he returned a key interception for a touchdown that sparked a Buc comeback!)

Stat #3: Some much for the Cowboys' high-powered offense - they have only scored one touchdown in their past two games (going back to last season).

College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Score #1: Wilkes University 38, Waynesburg 35.

CFSFSYNHO Blowout Special: Missouri West 81, Lincoln 14. It was 38-0 at halftime.

More Proof that College Overtime Sucks: In the Towson-Coastal Carolina collision, which Towson won 47-45 in the fifth overtime, there were 10 scoring plays in overtime. Ay Carumba!

Next Week (yes, this deserves boldface): There will be 16 NFL games.