31 October 2009

A Win Is A Win, Is A Win

Corks popped in the locker rooms of the Rams and Titans on Sunday as they got off the schnide, finally. Not to mention, the games they played in were pretty good. In other news, the NFL was saved from some woofer games because the Chiefs, Buccaneers, and Redskins all had byes. One more undefeated team went down, as the Broncos got blown out by the Ravens. I'm worried though, because they seemed rather somber after their loss, like they had lost the Super Bowl, or if New Mexico State had beaten Ohio State. Hopefully, they will (they should) rebound and put this loss behind them. In other, other NFL news: we've had a Terrell Owens sighting! He took an End Around for a 29-yard touchdown in the Bills forgetful loss to the Texans. Additionally, how bad do the Giants look? They're coming off three embarrassing losses to teams they should beat. Once again, it seems that their once aggressive defensive line is getting no push and are allowing opposing quarterbacks to sit back and pick them apart. In addition, it seems that the Cardinals and Panthers swapped roles, the Cardinals were turnover-wacky and the Panthers played mistake-free, not to mention, the Cardinals got blown out (like the Panthers have this season). It was a vengeful win for the Panthers, as they avenged a 34-13 thumping in the playoffs last year, where Jake Delhomme threw five interceptions. And lastly, once and for all, we now know which team is supreme in the NFC North, despite what Favre-haters think, he is making that team infinitely better. While the Vikings are talented, they're not Super Bowl-caliber without Favre. Plus, Brad Childress is not an elite head coach. The Packers have loads of problems on all three sides of the ball (why is Ahman Green returning kicks?) that are not Aaron Rodgers' or Mike McCarthy's faults.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Useless Stats Section:

Stat #1: The Jets gave up 104-yards of offense and lost

Stat #2: Brett Favre is 41 of 59 for 515-yards for seven touchdowns and no interceptions against the Packers

Stat #3: On Sunday, the St. Louis Rams won their first game since October 19th, 2008, a 34-14 win against the Cowboys

Stat #4: On Sunday, the Tennessee Titans won their first game since December 21st, 2008

Stat #5: The City of Tampa Buccaneers did not lose this week. Although, they did not win, either (they had a bye)

Stat #6: highly-overpaid, under-performing Marine Mammals receiver Ted Ginn Jr. outoffensed his entire team by 195-yards, returning two kicks for 299-yards and two touchdowns

Stat #7: in the Titans-Jaguars collision, there were four rushing touchdowns of over 70-yards

Best play by skinny, six-foot tall guy: Rams kicker Josh Brown threw a pass to fullback Daniel Fells for a 36-yard touchdown and first win in over a calender year.

Best Blocks: The clinching blocks on both of Maurice Jones-Drew's long touchdowns were by quarterback David Gerrard. Normally, quarterbacks just hand-off and then stand there and watch the play unfold. But not David Gerrard. That's called leaving it all the field, because all this effort was for naught, as the Titans lost 30-13.

We're All Professionals Here: In the Jets-Miami collision there were three two-point conversion attempts and all three failed.

Why The Raiders Lost: JaMarcus Russell continues to wear stocking caps on the sideline during Raiders games, and this past weekend was no different, as he wore one on the sidelines in San Diego, despite an average temperature of 70-degrees in the month of November there.

College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Concordia University of Illinois 22, Concordia University of Wisconsin 21.

Maine Maritime 76, Coast Guard 49. What? The Coast Guard has a football team? Apparently, they do. They're known as the Bears (as opposed to something more Coast Guard-like). Maine Maritime, located in Castine, Maine, specializes in nautical training and education, and is one of only two colleges in the U.S. that boast a Navy ROTC unit. How's that for obscure.

Nebraska-Kearney 24, Colorado School of Mines 12. Of all these obscure schools, the Colorado School of Mines Orediggers are my favorite for no apparent reason.

Bonus CFSFSYNHO Blowout Score:

Millsaps 61, Sewanee: The University of the South 7. Well, it's impressive when a single college beats a university for an entire region of the United States, especially a blowout. Millsaps was rated the 89th best liberal arts college by the U.S. World & News Report and Sewanee, the 36th.

Bonus CFSFSYNHO Basketball/Football Score:

MacMurray 68, Crown College 62 (OT). Typically, one or two of these obscure schools will end up playing in a football game with a basketball score, and this one was no less than that.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Christmas Can't Come Soon Enough, I Guess: A 12-pack of Diet Coke that was purchased by yours truly the last week of October is adorned with snow flakes. Yimpin' jimmity.

28 October 2009

NFL Week Eight on TV: Down & Dirty

On Sunday, Fox will once again have the double-header. In the Columbus, Ohio TV market, WBNS will show a Browns-Bears pillowfight. Over on WTTE, it will be Colts-49ers at 1:00. This could be considered a "local" matchup, because one fourth of Columbus's football fans are Colts fans. At 4:15 will be undoubtedly the game of the week: Vikings at Packers, Brett Favre's triumphant return to Green Bay for the first time since his retirement from retirement from retirement.

25 October 2009

Once More Unto the Breach Against Local Affiliates

Well, once again, the local affiliates in the Columbus, Ohio market have wooed us with woofer games this weekend and sticking with them once they're out of hand for the "local" team. See, Columbus is a weird city, where Ohio State football dominates the town, but the city's NFL fans are split in nearly four equal parts into Browns fans, Bengals fans, Steelers fans, and Colts fans. Meanwhile, WBNS and WTTE, the city's CBS and Fox affiliates that broadcast NFL games on Sunday afternoons typically schedule "local" matchups. Now, that's fine. What really irks me is when A.) they continue to broadcast the game when it's way out of hand for the "local" team and there's a better game out there that they keep showing those game breaks, almost teasing us because we're watching a bad game, or B.) when there's a Browns-Bengals double-header on WBNS and WTTE, who by NFL rules, can only show one game that afternoon, shows a woofer game with no "local" implications. Instead, they should show Fox's #1 game on their lineup that will be called by Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. They have the opportunity to, so why don't they!


On Sunday, WTTE stuck with the Browns-Packers pillowfight into the second half when it was 27-3 and then 34-3 Packers. They could've easily switched to the more exciting and competitive Steelers-Vikings collision. Now, in CBS's defense, none of the games on their lineup were any good, and the affiliate in Columbus showed Jersey/B at Oakland at 4:05. Maybe all the Steeler fans in my area have DirecTV/NFL Sunday Ticket and can watch what games that aren't on SNF or MNF on Sunday afternoons.

It's Not A Double Reverse!: Two ESPN bobbleheads (Chris Berman and Hannah Storm) called Reggie Bush's 10-yard touchdown a "double reverse", which probably has not occurred in the NFL since Super Bowl XIII in 1978, when Drew Pearson took the double reverse from Tony Dorsett and fumbled (check out the complete game on YouTube, it occurred on the fifth play of the game). And more than likely, the Fox commentators said the same thing, too, although I did not see Fox's broadcast. Okay, here's what happened: Drew Bress faked the give to Mike Bell and gave the ball to Devery Henderson coming around from his slotback position (if nothing else would've happened this would simply have been an end around). Then, Henderson gave the ball to Reggie Bush who was coming around from his split end position. The ball only reversed direction once, thus this play was simply a reverse, not a double reverse. Get it right, guys!

Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf, CBS's #2 commatating pair, have called both Raider games against New Jersey (combined score of 82-7 in favor of New Jersey). Aye carumba!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In other NFL news, maybe the unwritten rule that the over-dressed coaching staff loses the game applies to players, too. JaMarcus Russell wore a stocking cap on the sidelines, despite a gametime temperature in Oakland in the low-70s. Another unwritten rule of football is a successful fake punt/figgie = victory. This was true against the Raiders on Sunday, as the Jersey/B punter Steven Weatherford took a fake punt for 16 yards and a first down. Speaking of Jersey/B, what was Mark Sanchez doing on the field in the fourth quarter! And what was Cedric Benson doing on the field in the fourth quarter for the Bengals! Can't the scabs run up the middle for a few minutes and let the stars cool off?

How about that Cardinals-Jersey/A game, huh? It had to have been one of the best wins in the 110-year history of the Cardinals franchise. The game itself was pretty professional, although there were more than a few turnovers. But, the Giants are really reeling. Their defense just isn't what it was ever since Steve Spagnuolo became head coach of Les Mouflons. In the past two seasons, their defensive line would just make lunch meat of opposing o-lines. But now, their pass rush in rather vanilla and has given too much time for human automatic rifles Drew Brees and Kurt Warner. Whereas the Cardinals defense has been re-vamped. Although their new defense is blitz-wacky, they do it on first and second downs, and play straight coverage on third down (both teams played alot of straight defense on third down). It was nice to see the Cardinals defense win the game for them on a night when their offense wasn't firing on all cylinders.

Who Leads The NFL In Touchdowns Passes?: Why, it's Peyton Manning, of course, with 17.

Can't Anyone Run Up The Middle For A Yard, Anymore?: Apparently no, as the Cardinals forced an Ahmad Bradshaw fumble and took over at their own 42 with 3:52 remaining in the game. They lead by a touchdown. They went incomplete, six-yard pass to Fitzgerald, incomplete, punt. Even if they still wouldn't have gotten a first down, they still would've ran more time off than what they had done. Thankfully, Ben Patrick's punt was good and forced the Giants to start a possible comeback drive at their own nine.

Jim Zorn, whose job title would read "Head Coach of the Washington Redskins" did next to nothing on Monday Night, because "Chainsaw" Dan Snyder yanked play-calling duties from him. Most of us seriously doubt that play-calling are the reasons for the Redskins' woes. It's, well, Snyder himself (and that the Redskins have no talent)! Since he "relieved" Zorn of play-calling duties, Snyder thought Zorn would resign, but because Zorn is such a smart guy, he'll wait for the end of the season so he can get all of his contract money from "Chainsaw" Dan. This act however, was not expected on the part of Mr. Snyder. Dan Snyder, Al Davis, and Jerry Jones are the three menaces to society that are owners of NFL teams. It's scary stuff (just in time for Halloween).

Who Leads The NFL In Rushing?: Why, it's Cincinnati Bengal Cedric Benson, silly!

Sweet Play That Turned Sour: Antrel Rolle, a safety for the Cardinals, lined up at quarterback in the Wildcat and threw a picture-perfect pass to a wide-open Larry Fitzgerald that he dropped as if the ball was a beaker of H1N1. Not to mention, there was a tick-tacky hold called on tight end Ben Patrick.

Useless Stats Section:

Alex Smith, in relief of Shaun Hill, threw more touchdown passes than Matt Schaub and the Squared Sevens lost. Amazingly, Smith threw less interceptions than touchdowns.

Brett Favre threw 51 passes for 334 yards and the Vikings lost.

The Flying Elvii have won their last two games by a combined score of 94-7.

You've just got to feel sorry for Steven Jackson, who himself rushed for 134 yards and Les Mouflons lost their 17th straight game.

The New Orleans Saints have scored 238 points so far this season. They are on-pace to score 634 points. The NFL record is 589 by the 2007 New England Patriots.

The Lucky Charms have won 15 straight regular season games.

Jersey/B has 628 yards rushing in the past two games.

The Broncos did not win a game this weekend (they had a bye).

The Flaming Thumbtacks did not lose a game this weekend (they had a bye).

NEW!! College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Stillman 42, Lane 20. Stillman, a D-II school located in West Tuscaloosa, Alabama whose mascot is the tigers. Sammie Lee Hill and Brian Witherspoon (no, you're not supposed to know who they are) are alumns in the NFL.

Norwich 48, Anna Maria 0. Well, of course an entire town would beat a single lady! Now, that's not very respectful now, is it?

Concordia-St. Paul 57, Upper Iowa 56 (2OT). A basketball score from two obscure schools. Now, that's what I call football!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is an exclusive video of Reggie Bush's reverse-not-double reverse on ESPN:







Here is another exclusive video of Mark Sanchez eating a hot dog on the sideline. A generous fine is probably on the way (because eating stadium food on the sidelines is against NFL rules).
















21 October 2009

This Weekend of Yuck

This weekend, Columbus, Ohio's Fox affiliate will be having a Browns-Bengals double-header (they're playing the Packers and Bears, respectively). Over on the city's CBS affiliate will be Jets at Oakland at 4:05. Normally, I would be screaming as to why they scheduled such a crappy-looking game, but the other choices on CBS's schedule are pretty much of equal caliber (Chargers-Chiefs, Colts-Rams, Pats-Bucs [in London], Bills-Panthers and the aforementioned Jets-Raiders). Once again, it looks like Phil Simms and Jim Nantz of CBS will be calling another powerhouse blowout of another cupcake opponent, but in the confines of Wembley Stadium in London, England, where the Pats will not travel to until Friday. I guess this game would be my choice to watch on the eye network, even if the game is bad, at least I'll be getting quality commentary.

This weekend is one where DirecTV's bogus Sunday NFL Ticket package would make sense because three of this Sunday afternoon's premiere matchups will be on Fox (Vikings-Steelers at 1:00 and Falcons-Cowboys or Saints-Dolphins at 4:15).

Six teams have byes this week (Ravens, Broncos, Titans, Jaguars, Lions, and Seahawks). Notice that the teams with byes could be split three ways: cover-your-eyes bad, average and elite. It's amazing that when just two great teams are off, it throws the balance of the TV schedules off so greatly that the "premiere" games of this Sunday afternoon are with the average teams.

SNF is Giants-Cardinals, which was a good one last year, as it should be once again this year. MNF is Redskins-Eagles. Look for the Eagles to pass 40-45 times and rush 10-15 times despite the game either being tied at zero or lead by the Eagles. This is merely an observation, as I enjoy passing teams that are successful because it annoys the purists.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

One More Useless Stat To Ponder: If you extrapolate Drew "Human Automatic Rifle" Brees's current passing stats, he's on pace to throw only six interceptions this season and be sacked only 13 times.

19 October 2009

Important: The Pats Did Not Run Up The Score Against the Titans

As much as I'd like to think that the Pats ran up the score on Sunday, they really didn't, despite winning 59-0. 45 of those points came in the first half, and their final touchdown came with the backup offense on the field in the third quarter. I watched the game until CBS cut away after New England scored their 52nd point. The second reason why the Patriots were able to score that many points was because the Titans just did not show up at all. They really didn't. Despite having 193 yards rushing, the Titans only complied -7 yards passing on only two completions. And obviously their defense was non-existent, giving up 619 yards of offense (426 by the pass, 193 on the ground) and 32 first downs.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

In 2008, the Titans and Buccaneers had a combined record of 24-10. Through week 6 of 2009 they are a combined 0-12.

The New York Jets compiled 312 rushing yards and lost.

Drew Bledose's Single-Season Pass Attempts Record is Safe: Tom Brady has thrown 241 passes so far this season. He is on pace to throw 642 passes this season, well short of Drew Bledsoe's mark of 691 from 1994.

Joe Flacco passed for 385 yards and the Ravens lost.

All four of the Washington Redskins' losses have come to teams that were previously winless (Giants, Lions, Panthers and Chiefs).

The two wins by the Redskins were by differentials of two (9-7) and three (16-13).

Derek Anderson, who has taken nearly all of Cleveland's offensive snaps in the past two games, has 11 pass completions during that span. One of which was a win.

In the first three weeks of this season Mark Sanchez threw four touchdowns to two interceptions. In the past three weeks, he has thrown one touchdown and eight interceptions.

The Giants-Saints game kicked off shortly after 1:00 PM Eastern. The game ended at 4:30 PM Eastern. It did not go into overtime (the Saints won 48-27). Reason being: both teams kept throwing the ball well into the fourth quarter, prolonging the game.

The Jets-Bills game kicked off shortly after 4:00 PM Eastern. The game ended at 8:07 PM when Rian Lindell, who honked an earlier kick, booted the game-winning figgie with 2:49 left in overtime.

The Falcons-Bears game kicked off shortly before 8:30 PM Eastern. It ended at 11:27 PM Eastern (roughly two hours and 59 minutes in length), becoming one of the shortest games in TheDood's recent memory.

The Over-Dressed Coach Won!: One thing I notice is that the team with the over-dressed coaching staff loses. This was untrue last night as Josh McDaniels of the Broncos wore a hoodie and baseball cap, when the average high in San Diego in October is still 75. Losing coach Norv Turner sported simply a polo shirt.

Going back to last season's playoffs, Jake Delhomme has thrown 15 interceptions in the past six games and threw another pick-six against City of Tampa on Sunday.

15 October 2009

Ay Carumba!

WBNS, the CBS affiliate in Columbus, OH decided to show Oranges (Release 3.0b) at Steelers, which should be over by halftime, instead of Moo Cows at Cats at 1:00 PM Eastern. Ay carumba. And if it's 45-3 Steelers going into the 4th Quarter, they will undoubtedly show every coma-inducing snap of the final 15 minutes. The only consolation is that over on WTTE, Columbus's Fox affiliate, will have Jersey/A at Saints.

The second half of CBS's double-header will be Flaming Thumbtacks at Flying Elvii (upset special, anyone?). There is no game on Fox in my area at 4:05 or 4:15.

The best game of the week should be on Sunday night, just the way the NFL wants it to be (Bears at Falcons). And the Monday night game is the 5-0 Broncs and the 2-2 Bolts. Again, should be a good one.

12 October 2009

The Broncos Unis Shall Be Kept Out of Reach of Children

For how bad the Broncos uniforms are pretty much equals how good the team is. Their win confirm at least one thing: Josh McDaniels is indeed a human being and not the robotic, pompous, know-it-all that his so-called "mentor" Bill Belichick is, who faked trying to look for his student whom beat him on the field, to go back into the locker room to cry with his team like the poor losers that the Flying Elvii are. Now back to McDaniels, I've had change of heart about him. He obviously hasn't gotten his emotional spark from Bill Belichick, it must be something he has in him. Which is good because that means he's not a complete clone from Belichick, like say, Eric Mangini is. Although I'm still sort of discouraged about the bonehead, rookie coaching decisions he made in the off-season. But the Broncos are 5-0. 'Nuff said.

Once again, complaints will be made about the NFL's overtime rule, because the Patriots never got a chance to get the ball on offense. However, they had plenty of chances on defense to stop the Broncos, including a 3rd & 1 at the Pats' 48 where they passed.

One LOL from the game was that Kyle Orton's Hail Mary pass to close out the 1st half was intercepted by Randy Moss, who could not catch a pass from Tom Brady in the 1st half (although in his defense, he wasn't thrown to).

TheDood has formally renamed the Cincinnati Tootsie-Rolls/Bengals into the Cardiac Cats because of their thrilling finishes. A doctor is now on-hand to get blood pressure readings from TheDood throughout the 4th Quarters of Bengals games.

Cedric Benson is the first 100-yard rusher against the Nevermores since November of 2006 when Larry Johnson did it.

So, the Squared Sevens aren't invincible, anymore. Roddy White, who had the best receiving year in the franchise history of the Atlanta Falcons last year, caught 8 passes for 210 yards and 2 touchdowns on Sunday. I took enjoyment out of watching wackjob/hall-of-fame linebacker/coach Mike Singletary spewing made-for-TV insults at a public library conversation decibel level at his players on the sideline.

How has putz/owner of the Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons Dan Snyder not fired Jim Zorn, yet? They averted the Carolina Panthers' perfect season yesterday by losing to them. Remember, he fired Norv Turner in 2000 in the midst of their playoff run, hired and fired Marty Schottenheimer after an 8-8 season, hired and fired Steve Spurrier after he failed to run up scores against the NFC East, went back into the history of the Persons' by hiring and firing Joe Gibbs, and forced him to change his offensive scheme after a run where they averaged 35 points a game. Although, if Zorn were to be fired, Snyder would have to fill three coaching positions because Zorn is the head coach, the quarterbacks coach, and the offensive coordinator.

The Oranges (Release 3.0b) also averted a perfect season by beating the Bills 6-3 in the Lehman Bros. Game of the Week. Derek Anderson completed 2 of 17 passes for 23 yards and an interception. Although Jamal Lewis carried 31 times for 117 yards.

The Lucky Charms have won 14 straight games going back to last season and whaddaya know, they play Les Mouflons next week, losers of 15 straight.

Tom Brady through five games, has thrown 207 passes (he had a mere 33 on Sunday). That's a rounded average of 41 per game. He's on pace to throw 662 passes this season, so it looks like Drew Bledsoe's 1994 record of 691 is safe, for now.

Welcome Back Matt Hasselbeck!: He merely fired 4 touchdowns and pitched a shutout against the amazingly average Jaguars.

Welcome Back Donovan McNabb!: He merely fired 3 touchdowns of 51, 20, and 40 yards, bruised rib and all against the perfect City of Tampa.

How bad are the Raiders?: So bad that they only passed 13 times in a 44-7 loss to Jersey/A. Even though the Raiders were out of it the moment the opening kick boomed, they surely should've attempted to fight and comeback.

Here is a Dood Super-Duper Blog of NFL Footballness exclusive: This year, especially, there seems to be a huge disparity between the good teams and the bad teams. There are still five undefeated teams (Colts, Vikings, Saints, Broncos, Jersey/A) and four defeated teams (Chiefs, Titans, Rams, City of Tampa) with only a couple of average teams (Cardinals, Jaguars, and Steelers come to mind). Of those, the four ultimate losers are nowhere near the same level as even the average teams. With all of the great quarterback play the past season (Manning, Warner, Roethlisberger, Brees, Manning, Rodgers, Cutler, Favre, McNabb, Pennington, Schaub, Rivers all had good years) those crappy teams are the only ones that didn't have a remotely good quarterback. Hell, even journeymen Gus Frerotte was 8-3 as a starter despite throwing 15 interceptions to 12 touchdowns with the Vikings, last year (check out his page on pro-football-reference.com. It's mighty colorful.). Remember this is a Dood Super-Duper Blog of NFL Footballness Exclusive.

Now that the NFL week is over, I can now reflect upon the great Monday Night game that was played last night. The Jersey/B defense looked confused and seemed to over-pursue too much, and biting on every play-action fake by the Marine Mammals. And they also seemed to just watch in awe of the Wildcat, which should take none by surprise, but it still does after nearly two years in the NFL. Despite the over-pursuing Jersey/B defense, the Marine Mammals rushers were still able to break tackles and get big gains. Ricky Williams, 32, in his 11th NFL season, had 68 yards on 11 carries. His longest rush was 18 yards, and it was on the "Speed Sweep" play from the Wildcat, which Ron Jaworski vehemently said was "a new look from the Wildcat offense". Needless to say I laughed and thought "Jaws, you're smarter than that. You could've looked up 'Wildcat formation' on Wikipedia, or read my blog!".




09 October 2009

Free Games Are Feast or Famine

That's right. In the past weeks, I've complained about the woofer games that were shown in my area for free. Now, this weekend, the Bolts, Bears, Packers, and Saints, all quality teams for the most part, have byes. In fact, the games this weekend are so bad that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are calling a game involving the perfect 0-4 Chiefs and the sputtering Cowboys. This game will not be shown in my area, with WTTE opting to show the movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They will however, join Fox's coverage of the NFL at 4:05 to show the 49ers vs Falcons, probably the 2nd best Sunday game. WBNS will have a double-header, the 1:02 game will be Tootsie-Rolls @ Nevermores, a great AFC North matchup which will decide who will lead the division (they're tied for first), not that it matters as much because we're only a quarter of the way through the season, but it's a game, nonetheless. The 4:15 will be the nationally televised Flying Elvii @ Broncos with Phil Simms and Jim Nantz at the mike.

The Sunday night game is a woofer, Lucky Charms @ Flaming Thumbtacks. The Lucky Charms have been in three nationally televised games in so many weeks and the Flaming Thumbtacks are a perfect 0-4. The Monday night game is Jersey/B @ Marine Mammals. Should be a good one.

Going back to this blog's title, it's interesting that in a week with mostly woofer games, my area gets all the premiere matchups. The Browns do play on Sunday, at 1:00 in Buffalo, which, thankfully, won't be shown outside those team's markets. I still go back to Week 2, when WTTE had scheduled Saints @ Eagles for their 1:00 game, but wound up showing Vikings @ Peugeots instead. I've seen all Vikings games except for the one against the Squared Sevens. Conversely, I have not seen any Saints or Bears games, other than the first one against Green Bay, where the Bears were still in training camp for all intensive purposes.

07 October 2009

Who Says You Don't Need Talent To Win in the NFL?

Apparently, Eric Mangini does. Because he quickly seconed manangment's decision to dump Braylon Edwards, who despite his "Hands of Stone" nature, was Browns' only deep threat. TheDood always found it weird that he could never make catches that 90% of other NFL receivers could make blindfolded, but can make those one-handed circus catches that appear on SportsCenter. And who have the Browns gotten in place of Edwards, a bunch of Jet backups who will undoubtedly be starters on the Browns because all of the Browns starters would be backups on other teams.

What makes me the most mad about this trade is that Eric Mangini was again has been blinded by his own System. Eric Mangini is a disciple of the great Bill Parcells, along with Tom Coughlin, Bill Belichick, Tony Sporano, and now Josh McDaniels. Bill Belichick took on the role of pompous, know-it-all, who was ran out of Cleveland, a working-class town, because of his pompous, know-it-allness. Whereas Marty Schottenheimer and countless other winning coaches for the Browns were working-class guys.

Parcells and his assistants created a system, which is essentially "We're a team. Nobody is above it, nobody is below it." Guys like Belichick and his little student, Eric Mangini have taken this philosophy too seriously. Thing is, the Patriots are actually a talented team, the Jets under Mangini weren't, and the Browns are not. If you remember back to 2000, when Belichick was hired as coach of Patriots, it was viewed as a mistake. The Pats only went 5-11, they had no running game and a piss-poor defensive secondary, which were key to their Super Bowl victory the next season (that and cameras and videotapes. Oh, wait. I'm not supposed to say that!).

When Josh McDaniels was hired as head coach of the Broncos, I did not think they would be anywhere near where they are today. But unlike Mangini, McDaniels recognizes that you actually need talent to win! Which I believe is why he kept diva/wide receiver Brandon Marshall, because he's a great talent on the field (plus, it seems that McDaniels and Marshall have made peace).

Mangini is so blinded by The System that he takes his no bullshit mentality so seriously that he's jeopardizing his team's success. And not winning leads to grumpy players and grumpy players are bound to do something dumb and get fined or cut.

One thing that has set Parcells, Sporano, Belichick, and Coughlin apart are that are willing to change. They become either looser or tighter depending on the team they're coaching. They're willing to try new things. Most recently, Parcells and Sporano were willing to use the Wildcat. Belichick was willing to change the Patriots' offense from conservative and run-based, to wide-open and pass-wacky. Coughlin got nice and his team won a Super Bowl. Parcells won two Super Bowls with stellar defense and a conservative, run-based offense with the Giants. When he became head coach of the Patriots, they had no running game, but a young, All-Pro quarterback and tight end, so he made the Patriots a passing team that set numerous records for completions and attempts. This lead to a playoff birth for the Pats in 1994. They had a quick exit thanks to none other than Belichick's Browns. In 1996 the Pats lost the Super Bowl. That season, despite with Curtis Martin putting up All-Pro numbers, Drew Bledsoe still led the league in pass completions and attempts. They also had diva wide receiver in Terry Glenn (much like Brandon Marshall), whom Parcells butted heads with because he did not want to use his #1 draft pick on him. Although Robert Kraft, one of the great owners, wanted another deep threat to help out Ben Coates, even though Parcells always likes to use his first draft pick on a defensive player. This lack to total control was the major factor in Parcells retiring after the Super Bowl. In fact, he disliked Glenn so much that when Parcells became head coach of the Cowboys in 2003, he invited him to come to Dallas (notice the sarcasm in my words) to become one of the best receivers in the league.

But, nope. No change for Mangini. He fells he's the king of the team and how dare you have the right to know what's happening with the football team, where your tax dollars finance the stadium and the player's salaries. And you don't need talent, just The Almighty System.

06 October 2009

Three Jeers

Here are some sour plays from this past weekend of footballness:

The Houston Texans scored 9-points in 12-seconds against the Raiders (a safety, and then they returned the free kick for a touchdown).

Matt Cassel, who recently signed one of the richest contracts in football history, averaged 2.4 yards per pass attempt on 32 throws. JaMarcus Russell, the first overall choice in the 2007 draft, after which he signed one of the richest contracts in football history, averaged 3.4 yards per pass attempt on 33 throws.

While this one is not football related, I found it is a jeer. This is a direct quote from the latest Tuesday Morning Quarterback column, which can be found on ESPN.com Page 2: "David Iott of New Bern, N.C., reports, 'On September 29th, I went shopping at Old Navy in Jacksonville, North Carolina. As I walked in the store, I was greeted by a sign announcing, 'It's Sweater Weather!' The average high for September 29 in Jacksonville is 80 degrees. Do people lie on sweaters at the beach, instead of on towels?'".

04 October 2009

The Ballad of the Squared Sevens

Even though TheDood thinks that Squared Sevens coach and hall-of-fame linebacker Mike Singletary is crazy, I'm glad that they seem to be on a winning track, after years of bad ownership decisions about personnel and talent. TheDood takes you back to the last time San Francisco was a playoff team:

It was 2002, the Squared Sevens were 10-6 and had won the NFC West. Steve Mariucci was a 57-39 coach, Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens were one of the elite quarterback-receiver tandems in the league, they had won one of the most exciting playoff games in NFL history. Then it all came to a screeching halt in the divisional playoffs against City of Tampa, the eventual Super Bowl champs. Steve Mariucci gets fired after compiling a 57-39 record, although he was quickly picked up by Detroit. He would go 15-28 and be fired 11-games into the 2005 season. He was replaced in San Francisco by Dennis Erickson, who was hardly mediocre, at 31-33 with the Seahawks, but not 57-39. The Squared Sevens dumped their fabled West Coast Offense, instead opting for Erickson's college-style, three-wide receiver, vertical passing game. "McSrambles", as Squared Sevens fans called Jeff Garcia, got hurt and wasn't playing well in the first place. Terrell Owens started to complain. Then, there was a glimmer of hope, when Tim Rattay replaced Garcia, going 2-1, throwing seven touchdowns to only two interceptions. The Squared Sevens finished 7-9, missing the playoffs, and were third in the division. So in response, Jeff Garcia scrambled his way to Cleveland, Garrison Hearst went to Denver, Terrell Owens went to Philadelphia and went to the Super Bowl. San Francisco won two games in 2004, with Rattay sharing time with Ken Dorsey and their leading receiver was Eric Johnson, a tight end. Dennis Erickson was fired. The 'Niners savior was to be Nolan the Younger, son of legendary Squared Sevens coach Dick Nolan from the 60s and 70s. Plus, they drafted Frank Gore and Alex Smith. The next Barry Sanders and Joe Montana, right?

Wrong. They won four games in 2005. Alex Smith threw one touchdown to 11 interceptions. The team's sole shining light, Tim Rattay, was traded to City of Tampa, to become a backup at season's end.

Things improved in '06, as the Niners won seven games and Alex Smith *ONLY* threw 16 interceptions. But still, the next Joe Montana. In '07, they started off 2-0 against divisional opponents. They would only win three more games the rest of the year and were ranked last in points scored. The Next Joe Montana Named Alex Smith was benched in favor of wiley, old Trent Dilfer, although Frank Gore and Arnaz Battle played solidly. At the end of the season, Trent Dilfer retired to the TV studio.

Things looked good going into '08. Mike Martz was hired as offensive coordinator, with he and Nolan the Younger having full confidence in J.T. O'Sullivan. The Squarted Sevens started off 2-1, with Nolan staying out of Martz's way with play-calling. But, again, things began to unravel. Sitting at a 2-5 record, Nolan the Younger was fired, and much to my chagrin, defensive coordinator Mike Singletary was promoted to interim coach and not the offensive genius, Martz (how many NFL teams can have the notoriety of having three Mikes on their staff?). Singletary immediately benched O'Sullivan in favor of Shaun Hill. The 'Niners went 5-4 with Singletary as interim coach and haven't looked back since.

Jersey/B Reality Check and How 'Bout Those Broncos/Bears/Bengals/Saints/49ers

Jersey/B got a reality check on Sunday against the Saints, who must be for real, because they beat a blitz-happy defense and a team riding a huge surge of emotion with a rookie quarterback and coach. But because of this loss, Mark Sanchez should be benched and Rex Ryan should be fired, right? Not so fast.

The Saints are just so much more balanced than they have been the past several seasons, even though Reggie Bush is quickly becoming an NFL bust. Pierre Thomas and Mike Bell are taking a lot of pressure off of Drew Bress, who, in the first two weeks of the season, threw 9 touchdown passes, but in the past two weeks has thrown no touchdown passes. I think Tom Brady's 2007 touchdown pass record is safe, as Drew Brees is now on pace to throw a mere 36 touchdowns. With their 24-point showing, the Saints are now on pace to score 576 points, dropping their projected total to less than the '07 Flying Elvii's 589. They are also more balanced, meaning that it seems that they now have a defense to go along with their offense. Mark Sanchez certainly looked like a rookie and threw a bonehead interception to Darren Sharper that was returned for a touchdown. Now, I will be the first to say that the majority of NFL interceptions are the receiver's fault, but the one by Sanchez was all on him.

The Flaming Thumbtacks have surpassed their loss total from last year, they are now 0-4. They were 13-3 last season.

Drew Bledsoe Watch Out: Tom Brady so far this season has thrown 174 passes, that's an average of 44 per game. He's on pace to throw 696 passes this season. The NFL record for a single passer is 691 (Drew Bledsoe, 1994).

Since throwing one touchdown and four interceptions against the Packers in Week 1, Jay Cutler has thrown seven touchdowns to only one interception. I guess that trade wasn't a disaster, after all? However, imagine how good the Broncos would be if they had kept him?

If Brandon Stokley hadn't converted the "Immaculate Deflection", the Tootsie-Rolls would be leading the AFC North, because the Nevermores lost to the Flying Elvii, today. This is the same division with the reigning world champion Steelers, who are 2-2.

If Brandon Stokley hadn't converted the "Immaculate Deflection", the Broncos would be 3-1. But they have beaten the Cowboys, who are supposed to be one of the elite teams in the NFL, I think they're on the fringe of mediocrity. However, the Broncos have historically had a huge home-field advantage and supposedly, they have a hard schedule coming up.

Shaun Hill has thrown 23 touchdowns to 10 interceptions on his career. He had a record of 2-0 in '07 (they only had five wins that season), 5-3 in '08, and, so far, 3-1 in '09. All of his touchdowns have come as a member of the Squared Sevens. For San Francisco's sake, it seems the legacy of Nolan the Younger is fortunately vanishing.

Not To Worry, San Diego: Ever since Norv Turner became head coach, The Bolts have gotten off to very slow starts, and then roar back in December, making deep playoff runs the past two seasons. They lost the AFC Championship in '07 to the mythical Flying Elvii, and lost in the divisional round last year to the world champion Steelers at Ketchup Field.

Excluding their quick playoff exit last season, the Lucky Charms have won 12 straight games and Peyton Manning is looking as commanding as ever. Conversely, Les Mouflons have lost 14 straight games.

There is Nothing Wrong With the NFL's Overtime Rules

TheDood is currently watching the "Battle of Ohio" slugfest, which has gone into overtime. Many prognosticators just absolutely hate the NFL's overtime rule pointing to that a coin toss determines the game, and that the losing team should get a chance to possess the ball. Well, in fact the team that loses the toss does get a chance to get the ball... on defense. It all comes down to that the toss's losing team's defense can't stop the toss's wining team's offense. That's it! If your defense can't stop the opposing offense then you deserve to lose! Many want college's horrible system of overtime. TheDood believes that the college overtime should be the same as NFL overtime, although that will never, ever be considered.

As I type this, there is 7:24 left in the overtime period, whether the Browns win, whether the Bengals win, or whether the game ends in a tie, the Browns seemed to have played much better, and I believe for one sole reason: Derek Anderson started the game. He has always seemed to be more in-sync with the receivers, even with the "Hands of Stone" Braylon Edwards. The Browns have managed to score more touchdowns in one game than what they could do in the past nine (going back to last season a bit). D.A. threw for a touchdown and ran for another, which was something Brady Quinn couldn't do in a normal game situation (he only threw one touchdown pass and that was against Minnesota's Prevent defense in the final seconds of a blowout loss). Does this make Eric Mangini a slightly better hire, even if they go on to lose or tie? Maybe. But in my eyes, no, because I did not like him as the coach in New York.

Look for an opinion piece about Mangini in the coming days.

TheDood, out, with 3:23 left in overtime.

WTTE to Show Good Games, Today

WTTE, the Fox affiliate in Columbus, Ohio, will show Seattle Green Men Group @ Lucky Charms at 1:00 PM and Denver @ Dallas at 4:15 PM. While CBS is just showing local coverage, there are no nationally televised games today on CBS, today.

On a different note: Remember the show Sunday NFL Countdown? It was a rapid-fire show with just Tom Jackson and Chris Berman that aired at either 7:00 or 7:30 PM before ESPN's Sunday night game. When ESPN no longer showed games on Sunday night, followers of the show worried that it would no longer be around. But never fear. Beginning with the
11:00 PM SportsCenter, Jackson and Berman host a segment called "The Blitz", which is essentially the same as their old show, the same music, the same rapid-fire format, etc. My recommendation would be to tape ESPN from 11:00 PM to 3:30 AM the next morning, because typically NBC's SNF game has not ended by 11:00 PM, and because that game is the premier match up of the week, they want to analyse it.

02 October 2009

This Weekend of Woofer Games

This weekend in the Columbus, Ohio TV market, there will be a double-header on Fox, whose games have not been announced at this writing (11:00 pm on Friday). While on CBS, there will just be one 1:00 pm game, the bi-annual "Battle of Ohio" between the Tootsie-Rolls and the Oranges. Now, I could go into specifics on how terrible of a coach Eric Mangini is, and how the Oranges' as a whole are in shambles, but I won't (maybe later). The Tootsie-Rolls should win and I believe they will win.

Because of my Ohio location, I will miss CBS's premiere game, Nevermores vs Flying Elvii, damn it!

None of the 1:00 Fox games look all that intriguing: Peugeots @ Bears, Seattle Green Men Group @ Lucky Charms, Jersey/A @ Chiefs, and City of Tampa @ Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons. More than likely, I will see either Jersey/A @ Chiefs or Seattle Green Men Group @ Lucky Charms. I seem to remember last week that Fox was hyping Broncos @ Cowboys as being their premiere game for this Sunday (and as the only other 4:00 game on Fox is Mouflons @ Squared Sevens, which will hopefully only be shown in those teams' home markets!).

The Sunday night game is Bolts @ Steelers, I'm not waiting on pins and needles for this one, but I'll undoubtedly watch it.

This week's best game will be on Monday Night (although I wish it was the *REAL* MNF back on the alphabet network) as Brett Favre will face the Packers for the first time since his retirement, since his retirement, this time at home in the Twin Cities. MNF analyst Jon Gruden has a interesting personal connection to Favre: when Favre was traded from Atlanta, Gruden (who was a Packers Offensive Assistant) picked Favre up at the Green Bay Airport.