No AutoText Was Used In The Writing Of This Blog

So Vince Young is now the best quarterback in NFL history, better than Montana, Brady, Favre, and Manning combined! The Titans will surely go to the Super Bowl and win 198-8 on and Young will own the passing record in the first quarter! NOT SO FAST. In case you hadn't heard, the Titans beat the Cardinals 20-17. Vince Young took the Titans on a game-winning, 99-yard, game-winning drive. What was lost was Chris Johnson's 154 yards rushing on a mere 18 carries. Man, are the Titans looking good, and probably all it was attributed to Vince Young getting the start. He may not be the smartest, most cerebral guy, but he is one great athlete. In other NFL news, the Colts clinched the AFC South division because the Jaguars loss - in embarrassing fashion, to the 49ers. And Jake Delhomme, second in the league in interceptions, threw four more, bringing his total to 18. One again, I attribute it to Cat's coaches calling too many passes. They radioed in 38 of them (sacks plus attempts) to 25 rushes. Plus, the Cats only gained 176 yards of offense and six points.

There's been some talk about changing the rules about the Thanksgiving NFL games to include the "hot" teams at the time. Remember, NFL skeds are decided at least five years in advance. Besides, it's tradition, the Lions always play on Thanksgiving and they've been bad for years. I doubt that viewers pay that close of attention (the productions people surely don't) because most of them are with families. And by halftime of the second game, viewers are more concerned about stuffing their faces and not football. As for the third game, nobody can watch so I can't speak of it.

Useless Stats Section:

#1: The Colts have won 20 straight regular season games mostly with receivers named Pierre Garcon and Austin Collie

#2: The Titans finished a winless, eight-game streak with five-straight wins.

#3: Chris Johnson of the Titans is on pace to rush for over 2,000 yards

#4: Brett Favre has still only thrown three interceptions.

#5: Are the Bengals really winning the AFC North?

#6: Are the Steelers really only 6-5?

#7: The 49ers rushed for 52 yards and won.

#8: A Mike Singletary-coached team threw 42 passes and won. Note: no 49er quarterback was sacked.

#9: The Browns have scored seven or less points in seven games this season.

#10: The Cowboys gave up their first touchdown on Thanksgiving in four years - against the Raiders.

Worst Plays in a 36-10 Blowout Win: On the last play of the first quarter, Brett Favre was sacked for a 14 yard lost - the line of scrimmage was the Bears' one. On the said play, the Vikings sent a tight end split wide - a dead give-away to the defense that the play was going to be a pass, the play was a rollout right and then when Brett Favre saw a rusher coming, he dropped back more! Al Afalava, a defensive back, came in for the sack. Now, fast forward to the fourth quarter. Adrian Peterson scores to give the Vikings a 36-10 lead and the Vikings go for two! Why? Could it possibly be to run up the score? If I were TMQ, I'd say the Football Gods would have their revenge.

Reasons Why The Lions Are 2-9: In the fourth quarter, the Lions punted on fourth and three and Jason Hanson kicked a 22-yard field goal later on. Oy vey!

College Football Scores From Programs You've Never Hear Of:

Score #1: Saint Thomas 34, Coe 7 (D-III Quarterfinals)

Score #2: California of Pennsylvania 57, West Liberty State 35 (D-II Quarterfinals)

Score #3: Albright 27, Delaware Valley 3 (D-II Football Championship - Second Round)

Wha-huh?: Burger King touts that their 1/4 lb Double Cheeseburger is bigger than McDonald's flagship Quarter Pounder With Cheese.

Congratulations are in order for Marc Trestman, a down-and-out college and NFL coordinator who has compiled a 26-10 record in the CFL, with two Grey Cup appearances (and one victory, which took place last Sunday with the Montreal Alouettes). Trestman was the play-caller for some of the most prolific NFL offenses of the last 25 years, beginning with the Browns in 1989, who went all the way to the AFC Championship and receiver Webster Slaughter set the franchise record in receiving yards. After holding the position of quarterbacks coach in Minnesota for two seasons, Trestman left football until 1995 where he became the 49ers offensive coordinator. The '95 49ers were the league's best offense. 49er quarterbacks compiled nearly 4,800 yards passing and Jerry Rice had his best season ever, where he caught 122 balls for 1,848 yards and 15 touchdowns. The next season, the 49ers again made the playoffs with Trestman radioing-in the plays. Although, the 49ers playoff shortcomings undoubtedly led to his firing, along with head coach George Seifert. Immediately, Trestman was hired by Detroit at the same position. Barry Sanders rushed for 2,053 yards, Herman Moore caught 108 passes for 1,293 yards, and quasi-quarterback Scott Mitchell had his last season as one. The Lions had a quick playoff exit that season and Trestman was shipped to Arizona, where he radioed-in plays for the first Cardinals team to reach the playoffs in 25 years. The coach held that position until 2000, after two seasons where the Cardinals were the second-worst and worst offenses in the league. In 2001 he was on Oakland's staff where he reunited with Jerry Rice and Rich Gannon (Trestman was his quarterbacks coach in Minnesota), but when Jon Gruden was "traded" to the Buccaneers, Trestman was promoted to the offensive coordinator position. The 2002 Raiders were the league's best offense, Rich Gannon was the league MVP and Jerry Rice had his first Pro Bowl season since '98, although you have to believe that Oakland's success was attributed to their superior offensive line play, which is also what cost them the Super Bowl. Oakland had a 4-12, injury-plagued season in 2003, after which the entire coaching staff was let go and Trestman would never again be an NFL coordinator. For two seasons beginning in 2005, Trestman was the offensive coordinator of the North Carolina State Wolfpack (with a 2005 Meineke Car Care Bowl victory to boot). And then in 2008, Trestman was hired on as the head coach of the CFL's Montreal Alouettes, where they lost the Grey Cup and then this year they won the collision, by a point, 28-27.

"Tuesday Morning Quarterback" Spoof

This whole blog was sort of inspired by TMQ a.k.a. Gregg Easterbrook (you can read it on ESPN.com Page 2). I enjoy reading his columns a lot but it's easy to poke some fun at him because he's so unique.

Here we go:

Verily, the football Gods wept because Bill Belichick once again kept his starters in as the Flying Elvii took a 17-point lead with 12:53 left in the fourth quarter. Surely, the football gods will have their revenge! Clearly, no NFL coaches or managers read TMQ. How dare they? And the Saints once again called 53 passes to only 11 runs in a game where they never trailed. In fact, they won it by 14! Once again, I will go to war with local affiliates, as I pretend to relate to you, even though I have DirecTV in seven rooms of my house, all with the obnoxious NFL Sunday Ticket available to them. KFKS in Glendive, Montana showed every coma-inducing snap of the woofer Raiders-Colts game as the more exciting Flying Elvii-Marine Mammals collision was going on when they had the rights to the game.

Four games went into overtime on Sunday and all of them were won by the home team, who won the coin toss. It is so unfair to the losing team because they never get the ball!

Ye Gods.

Stat of the Week No. 1: Excluding losses, the Cardinals have won 441 straight games.

Stat of the Week No. 2: The Colts, Raiders, Eagles, Dolphins, Browns 49ers, Chiefs, and Broncos have a combined record of 29-65.

Stat of the Week No. 3: The thrilling 58-57 Bengals-Chargers collision had a combined 1,284 yards passing and 54 yards rushing. Ye gods!

Stat of the Week No. 4: Barack Obama has made 176 speeches since he became president.

Sweet Play of the Week: Vikings have second and goal with a three-point lead in the third quarter and come out with four-wide receivers, Brett Favre takes the snap and pitches left to Adrian Peterson who goes into the end zone untouched by human hands. TMQ likes this because too many teams try to power run up the middle on goal-to-go situations.

Soul Play of the Week: Who-dat receiver Devery Henderson scores a 46-touchdown to give the Saints a five-point lead against the Redskins. Highly over-paid defensive back DeAngelo Hall "looked into the backfield" like the middle-schoolers I coach, trying to guess the play and got burnt by the underpaid, who-dat Henderson.

Sweet 'n' Sour Play of the Week: Brett Favre play-faked the run and threw a pass to Sidney Rice for a 23-yard touchdown. The play-fake was sweet. The fact that the defense was comprised mainly of men who did not graduate from their respective colleges, and therefore do not understand the nuances of the play fake as TMQ does, was sour.

80% Of This Column Was Written Using Autotext!: DirecTV has a monopoly! There is "dark matter" in the universe! CEO's who fly private planes are fucking assholes! Coaches only make decisions that will make them look good! No one touched the running back on that run! He shouldn't get any credit! Official child of TMQ, Spenser is very advanced and will ruin the curve for your unintelligent child!

Why Are You Punting?: Trailing by three in the first and having a fourth and 10 from their own one, the Seahawks bommed a mincing, fraidy-cat punt. TMQ guessed what happened next, the Bucs ran 13 plays for a touchdown and TMQ wrote the words "Game over." in his notebook.

'Tis Better to Have Rushed And Lost, Then Never to Have Rushed at All: Game tied at zero with 14:56 left to go in the first, run out the clock and victory is secure. The Cardinals go pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, run, pass, pass, pass, pass, run, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, pass, run, pass pass, and I think you know the rest. Kurt Warner went 18 of 35, for 277 yards in the first half. They led by nine at halftime but because I hate it when teams are one-dimensional I played to the football gods for revenge. In the endgame the Titans won by a point because the Cardinals only had 14 yards rushing and can't possibly think about running out the clock. Ye gods.

Fortune Favors The Bold!: The Bills, whose punter broke his leg in pre-game stretches, went for it on all two of their fourth down attempts and they won by 28! Surely, the football gods smiled.

Stop Me Before I Blitz Again!: The Packers had third and five. It's a blitz! Five Green Men Group gentlemen cross the line and Aaron Rodgers hits Donald Driver for barely a first down!

TMQ Exclusive: Tuesday Morning Quarterback has exclusively learned on an exclusive basis that Marvin Lewis's playbook contains runs and passes. Remember, this is a TMQ exclusive.

Coaching Is Overrated: Even though Bill Parcells is (for the time being) not a head coach, I still like to complain because I don't like him and he's not a good person. First, it's long been clear that (Bill) Parcells is an egomaniac in both the casual and, perhaps, clinical senses of that word. Lately he's gone downhill to simply becoming a nasty person, spitting and snarling at everyone around him. What's Parcells going to do next, demand worship? When I look at Parcells, the phrase that comes to mind is "failed human being." (A failed human being who has won two championships and will be enshrined in the Hall of Fame one day. But has he ever discussed free trade agreements? TMQ does not like equating succeeding with success.). TMQ coaches middle-schoolers, where Official Child of TMQ, Gunnar, plays quarterback. We never blitz on third down, never punt and we've won 20 straight games (excluding losses). TMQ is clearly smarter than all 32 NFL head coaches combined.

Running Up The Score Watch: The Patriots had a 10-point lead against Marine Mammals in the fourth. Why is Tom Brady still in the game! And then he throws a pass to Randy Moss for a touchdown even though the defender fell down. Surely, Moss could've just run out of bounds! The Football Gods will surely have their revenge. If you're leading by, say, 17 at halftime, a coach should bench their starters and just kneel down for the rest of the game.

Why Everybody Else But Me Contribute To Global Warming: TMQ thinks that global warming is a myth, but still motorists should still turn off their engines while stopped at stoplights to save .000000019939489 gallons of gas because TMQ does.

Obscure College Score of the Week: Pittsburg of Kansas 2, California of Pennsylvania 0 (10OT). In the most exciting game TMQ has ever seen, TMQ's two-favorite obscure schools battled it out and in the endgame the score was TMQ's favorite, 2-0.

TMQ writes for six magazines you've never heard of, all about different things. And Gregg Easterbrook is clearly a Christian because he's said time and time again that I'm anti-gambling but I like boobs. And you are inferior to me if you don't have obligations to your Maker and your fellow men and women; it's best not to lose sight of that because remember, football is about teaching and having fun, and not the competition.

Evolution of the Shotgun Spread

The Shotgun spread is taking the NFL by storm. This is the first year where I have seen nearly every team go with five-wide receivers on a consistant basis. Although, the Shotgun has been around for years, it hasn't been so prevalent until recently.

The Shotgun has it roots in San Francisco, where 49ers coach Red Hickey introduced the formation into the offense in 1960 because he figured that using time or energy to drop back was a waste so he figured that he would have his quarterback already dropped back! Although, in the beginning, the same personnel was on the field whether the quarterback was under center or not (two running backs, two wide receivers and a tight end). Also, the formation was only used on obvious "passing" downs. No other NFL teams used it until 1971, when the New York Jets, with the immobile Joe Namath began to use it. In 1975, Cowboys coach Tom Landry introduced it to help out his young offensive line give Roger Staubach more time and to use it as a "change-up" because they sometimes used it on downs other than third. When Bill Walsh's trademarked West Coast Offense came into use, he did not put it in his playbook because he said that it forced the quarterback to look at the ball and not the defense.

In the 80s, most teams used the Shotgun spread, with either three or four receivers on third down and other passing situations. Even ball control teams like the Bills of the early-80s, Mike Ditka's Bears and Bill Parcells's Giants used it to pass more effectively, while "passing" teams like the Packers, 49ers, Bengals and Vikings didn't (mainly because their offenses and some of their roots with either Walsh or Paul Brown). There were two other holdouts, too. Namely, the Chargers' "Air Coryell" offense and Joe Gibbs' two-tight end offense.

Even though the West Coast Offense is stereotyped as a pass-happy system, it really wasn't. Just check out pro-football-reference.com and look at the 49ers in the 80s, they either passed the same amount as they rushed or even rushed more than passed. Walsh theorized that if a team throws the ball early, that the opposing defense will tire and that will open up holes for the running game.

Nearly every NFL offense in the 90s and some West Coast aspects in it and teams used the Shotgun less and less. The Patriots in 1994 threw 699 passes, all of which were from under center and both Super Bowl teams (Chargers and 49ers) didn't use it, either. Then there's the Run & Shoot, an offense whose teams did not have any tight ends on their rosters. It was a fad that came and went after the Oilers honked three playoff games after building up seemingly insurmountable leads where they scored too quickly and kept passing in to the second half, allowing the other team time to come back. Despite all this passing and four-wide receiver sets, they didn't use the Shotgun (although the offense lives on at the college level where you'd be hard-pressed to find a play where the offense isn't in the Shotgun).

In to the 2000s the Shotgun began to make a comeback. The West Coast Offense was becoming old and teams looked more toward ball control schemes. Even conservative coaches like Marty Schottenheimer and Dan Reeves used the Shotgun spread in passing situations and to "throw a change-up". But still, only a handful of teams had five-wide receivers, most used four and kept a running back in to block or run a short, safety valve pattern on passing situations.

Super Bowl XXXVII was the last Super Bowl to see no Shotgun snaps (because both team's offenses were the same) and the Seahawks of 2005 were the last Super Bowl team to not use the Shotgun. Nowadays, many teams used the Shotgun spread on either non-passing downs or on third and short. I always enjoy it when teams use misdirection near the goal line. Not too many teams do it and try to score by pounding it up the middle from "Big" or "Jumbo" formations with multiple tight ends and blockers. In 2001, the Browns came out Shotgun spread on a goal-to-go situation against the Ravens and sent a receiver in motion and put him in the backfield. The call went to the motion man and he scored. The next week, the conservative Falcons did the same thing with fullback Bob Christian in a goal-to-go situation and he scored a touchdown.

TheDood thinks it would be cool if an NFL offense were to completely get rid of the Shotgun all together just for old time's sake. Some of the NFL's all-time great offenses didn't use it like the '98 Vikings. Even Mike Martz's Rams seldomly used it and scored over 500 points in three straight seasons.

This Weekend Was Painful....

The NFL week must've been pretty bad when the most exciting game was played between the Browns and the Lions. They totaled 913 yards, 48 first downs and 75 points. And how painful was it watching the Raiders-Bengals collision? Either the Bengals relaxed because they heard they were playing the Raiders, or the Raiders are playing really, really well, ever since Bruce Gradowski was put in at quarterback. Or maybe it was that cross-country flight, where the Bengals were fed an in-flight meal of Ambien and warm milk (at least it seemed like it). In other NFL news, two games on Sunday went into overtime and the home team won. In other NFL news, the Saints and Colts remain unbeaten (still) and should be destined for a meeting in Miami in February, but one only hopes. Interestingly, 10 games this week were decided by a touchdown or less.

Useless Stats Section:

Stat #1: The AFC North went 0-4 on Sunday.

Stat #2: The AFC West went 3-1 on Sunday and the one loss was in a intradivisional game.

Stat #3: The NFC East went 3-1 on Sunday and the one loss was in a intradivisional game.

Stat #4: The Colts have won 19 straight regular season games.

Stat #5: The Saints are on-pace to score 590 points this season, which is only one more than the NFL record set by the '07 Patriots.

Adventures in Officiation: On Matt Stafford's last-second heave-ho, where the Browns' Hank Poteat was called for pass interference. Stafford was injured on a legal hit by a Browns' lineman and came off the field. The refs charged a timeout to the Lions. One problem: the Lions didn't have any timeouts? Would this have changed the outcome of the game? No, because a game can't end on a defensive penalty and the Lions had the ball put at the one (because the penalty was in the end zone).

Coaching Pressure Analysis - Browns-Lions: After the said play above, the Lions lined-up at the one with Daunte Culpepper in at quarterback. As the Lions were ready to snap it, Eric Mangini called a timeout, which allowed Matt Stafford to come back in! Daunte Culpepper came into the game cold and the play was shaping up to be a run up the middle that would be undoubtably stuffed, the game would end and the Browns would win. I know Eric Mangini has taken a lot of criticism, but what was exactly was the point of that timeout, Mr. Mangini?

More Useless Stats:

Stat #6: Matt Stafford is the first rookie quarterback to throw five touchdown passes in a game.

Stat #7: Brett Favre has become the Toyota Prius of quarterbacks, it only took him 18 years, but he's there. He's only thrown three interceptions and 21 touchdowns, has the league low interception percentage (1%), and leads the league in quarterback rating. Brett's said that this is the most talented team he's ever been a part of (even though he played with Sterling Sharpe in the early part of his career) and I don't doubt that even though he's been to two Super Bowls.

Stat #8: Cleveland's 37 points are the most for that franchise since they put up 41 against the Dolphins on October 14, 2007. To point out how bad the Browns' offense has been over the past season and a half, they haven't even scored more than 20 since they played the Bills on November 17th of last year and they scored more touchdowns in the first quarter than they had scored in the entire season.

College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of (Note: We're Now In The Playoffs):

Score #1: Central Washington 27, Tarleton State 6.

Score #2: California of Pennsylvania 26, Shippensburg 21.

Score #3/Running Up the Score Watch: Delaware Valley 66, Susquehanna 7. DV score 21-points in the fourth quarter.

CFSFSYNHO Basketball/Football Score: West Liberty State 84, Edinboro 63.

CFSFSYNHO Blowout Special: Wisconsin Whitewater 70, Lakeland 7. Whitewater scored no points in the fourth quarter.

Cupcake Watch: As a scrimmage before their bout with Florida State, the number one-ranked Florida Gators whipped up on Florida International 62-3, where the Gators scored two touchdowns in the fourth quarter on passes of 16 and 31 yards. Additionally, Chattanooga was embarrassed by number two-ranked Alabama 45-0.

What Happened To Oklahoma?: This season, the University of Oklahoma Sooners were supposed to be stocked with NFL-caliber players and put up a fight against Texas for a share of the Big 12 title. Instead, this season was very underwhelming, which saw quarterback Sam Bradford get hurt and saw losses to BYU, Nebraska and Texas Tech. Now, Texas Tech has been an interesting team, TheDood enjoys their pass-wacky offensive scheme and that Mike Leach can take a seemingly nobody quarterback and make him a star. It seems like they have a couple games a year where they have games where they play better than their record shows. And this season was no different, where they beat Nebraska, Kansas, Oklahoma and dealt with a tight loss to secondplace Oklahoma State.

Week X

So, did you hear that Bill Belichick went for it on fourth and two from the Pats' own 28 and they didn't convert? By the way, Bill Belichick went for it on fourth and two from the Pats' own 28 and they didn't make it. That was the story that was all over ESPN and chided by sports bobbleheads all across this nation. See, whenever a coach goes for it on fourth and loses, the coach typically gets a cascade of "I told you sos" by the commentators of the game, ESPN's ex-jocks and ex-coaches, and sports bobbleheads on sports radio all across the country. Am I the only one who feels that Bill Belichick's decision was defensible? I think so. You have to break it down: the Patriots had no momentum whatsoever in the second half and Peyton Manning was torching the Pats defense in that time span, as well. However, I feel that the play was poorly executed. They could've easily ran an outside run or even faked the punt to succeed. I also believe that that play showed how much Bill Belichick has changed; it seems since their mythical season in 2007, they've been running more and more plays from the Shotgun formation that any other team in the NFL. In case you didn't see it, Tom Brady threw a junky, safety valve pass to Kevin Faulk from a five-wide receiver set who had a defender practically stuck to him, and he was immediately taken down and was thrown backwards across the first down line.


The Patriots under Bill Belichick have always been a head-scratcher to me, it seems in big games they win, they get outplayed (all of the 2001 playoffs) and in games in which they outplay the other team they lose (the 2005 playoff game that they lost against the Broncos, the 2006 AFC Championship and last night). In fact, in Super Bowl XXXVI, Tom Brady did not have 100-yards passing until "The Drive". Bill Belichick's defensive game plan last night was very similar to any games where he plays a high-octane offense, he'll routinely play five or more defensive backs play very tight coverage on the opposing receivers and rarely blitz.


In other NFL news, Josh McDaniels is the worst NFL coach, and the Cowboys suck, right? Not so fast, the Cowboys have always been a willy-nilly team and we knew the Broncos had a tough schedule in the second half of the season (although, the Redskins are hardly tough. More on that later.) How 'bout them Bengals? Every week a different part of their team shines and carries the team to victory, in this case, their kicking game. Stud/running back Cedric Benson was out and the offense clearly struggled, obviously they did not score an offensive touchdown, although they were able to get into field goal range five times throughout the game (they converted four of those). The Bengals are clearly play the best football as a team, while they have a few superstars (namely Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco), most of their team consists of who-dats and young guys who are playing well. Plus, Marvin Lewis is one hell of a head coach, who carried his team through all of last year's debacle and managed to not get fired.


You've got to feel bad for Brian Westbrook, who played a bit on Sunday, after recovering from a concussion, and suffered another one on Sunday.


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Useless Stats Section:


Stat #1: Donovan McNabb passed for 450-yards and 55 attempts and the Eagles lost


Stat #2: Steven Jackson alone ran for 131-yards and the Rams lost.


Stat #3: In Week 10, six of the 10-leading passers lost their games


Stat #4: In Week 10, six of the 10-leading rushers won their games


Stat #5: The Colts have won 18-straight regular season games


Stat #6: Peyton Manning had a perfect passer rating against the blitz in the second half of the Colts-Patriots collision


Stat #7: The Bengals have sweeped both the Steelers and Ravens this season and need to beat the Browns next week to be undefeated in the division.


Stat #8: The last time the Bengals sweeped the Steelers was 1998

Stat #9: The Ravens scored two touchdowns in 15-seconds


Cat-Stat #1: In 1998, the Bengals two wins against the Steelers encompassed 66% of their wins (their only other win was against the Lions in Week 2


Cat-Stat #2: Neil O'Donnell, who owns the lowest interception percentage in NFL history, played in 13 games for the '98 Bengals and tossed a mere four interceptions.


Cat-Stat #3: Corey Dillion rushed for 1130-yards for the '98 Bengals. He only had four rushing touchdowns, though.


Cat-Stat #4: The Bengals have swept the Ravens only four times since the Browns moved to Baltimore: 1996, 2005, 2007, and this season.


Fake Punt/Figgie = Victory (Again): For the second-straight week, a team with nothing to lose decided to go for a fake punt for field goal and won the game. In this case, it was the Redskins who went for a fake punt in the fourth quarter to ice the game against the Broncos. Hunter Smith took the snap and rolled to his right and threw a heave-ho to fullback Mike Sellers who walked in for the touchdown.


Who-Dat Guy Play: Colts receiver Pierre Garcon, from Division III powerhouse Mount Union, scored a touchdown to begin the Colts comeback on Sunday Night. The Pats came on a delayed blitz, a fifth rusher "shot the gap" to pressure Peyton Manning and he fired the pass in Garcon's direction. He was smothered by a Pats' defender, but managed to make a one-handed catch for the touchdown.


Cool Play: Colts ball on the Pats' 14 with a minute-20 remaining and after huddling up, normally in this situation a team would try to run as many passes and plays as possible, but instead, Joseph Addai scampered up the middle for a 13-yard gain, bringing the ball to the one.


Sour Play #1: On the next play from the one listed above, Joseph Addai was stuffed for no gain. A play-action pass would've worked nicely. And on the next play, the Colts scored on one of my most hated plays: a fade route at the goal line.


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TNF Analysis: I don't get NFL Network so I can't tell you much. It was a really woofer matchup pitting sputtering teams, seems just the game for NFLN, doesn't it? Yeah, the 49ers picked off five passes, but they gave up a boat-load of yards and allowed the Bears to move up and down the field despite this. It was a really, really ugly game for both teams.


College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Score #1: Lewis & Clark 30, Puget Sound 27

Score #2: Adrian 45, Olivet College 20

Score #3: Washington & Jefferson 35, Waynesburg 12

Bonus CFSFSYNHO Basketball/Football Score of the Week:

Tarleton State 57, Texas A&M-Kingsville 56 (OT, NCAA D-II playoff)

Bonus CFSFSYNHO Blowout of the Week/Running Up The Score Watch:

Coe 56, Cornell 7. Coe scored 21-points in the fourth quarter.

Cupcake Watch: This Saturday, number one-ranked Florida will face Florida International and number two-ranked Arkansas will face Southern conference-cupcake Chattanooga for automatic, 50-point wins for both clubs. All in the name of bowl eligibility, right? This and the prevalence of spread offenses lead many to think that scoring is up in college football. Trust me, it isn't. Remember the Texas-Oklahoma collision from earlier this season? The final score was 16-13. Also, big, powerhouse programs will schedule their out-of-conference games against D-IAA cupcakes for an auto 50-point win all in the name of bowl eligibility and not their pride, not to mention the cupcake school will get a nice payment for their athletic boosters, so it all works out in the end. Two weeks ago, LSU throttled Tulane, a D-IAA, Conference USA school, 42-0. Ohio State swept up New Mexico State, a WAC cupcake, 45-0, and Arkansas whipped up on D-IAA Eastern Michigan 63-27. Oy vey!

Hooray To Teams With Who-Dats And Nobodies

What a week in the NFL: City of Tampa is off the schnide, the Giants honked another game (see below), the Bengals have their best record in 20-years, the Titans won their second straight, and the Browns were off. Whoo-hoo!

Coaching Pressure Analysis Part One - Cowboys @ Eagles: The Eagles actually had a balanced offense, even after they began to trail. However Andy Reid managed to use up all of his timeout in the third and early-fourth quarters. At the end of the game, he crawled into his little conservative hole as many coaches do when it's late in the game and down by 10 or less with five, or so minutes left and the other team has momentum. With just over five minutes to go, trailing 20-14 the Eagles faced third and 10 at the Dallas 43 and Donovan McNabb was sacked, although it was just for a loss of one. Andy Reid figured that he could kick a figgie and let his defense stop one of the best rushing offenses. Well, he did, on fourth and 11 from the Dallas 44 and David Akers' 52-yard field goal was good, which was a mistake. The way things usually go, when a team goes for it on fourth down the opposing defense will big-blitz, and boom, a big play for the offense. If they scored a touchdown they would've been ahead by one. Even if they don't convert, they would've put the Cowboys in bad field position. However, ever thing seemed to go the Eagles' way when Akers' kickoff boomed 69-yards, which pitted the Cowboys around their own 20. Because the Eagles had used up all their timeouts, the Cowboys were able to milk away the remaining 4:27 for the "W".

Sweet Play #1: The Cowboys faced third and 14 near midfield. Tony Romo threw a 49-yard touchdown pass to the pride of Monmouth, who-dat receiver Miles Austin, with three Eagle defenders sucking wind after him. Even though the Eagles are typically a big-blitz team, they didn't blitz on this play, so Austin wasn't necessarily wide-open.

Sweet Play #2: DeAngelo Williams' 66-yard touchdown on only the second play of the game. He blazed through New Orleans' five-man front and four linebackers.

Sour Play #1: Seldom-used Bengal fullback Jeremi Johnson was so shocked that he was wide-open on the Bengals' first drive of the game that he dropped a touchdown pass like the ball was a live ferret.

Sour Play #2: The Ravens faced third and three near midfield in the first quarter and Bengals defensive back Leon Hall ran a better route than Derrick Mason and dropped a interception like Joe Flacco's pass was a live ferret. Despite these two sour plays the Bengals had a huge, gigantic win against the Ravens and are 6-2 for the first time since 1988, their last Super Bowl season.

Coaching Pressure Analysis Part Two - Chargers @ Giants: Now that it's the middle of the season, the Chargers slow start is over and now they'll roar back to maybe (make that an iffy-maybe) earn a wildcard spot. However, Tom Coughlin went into his little conservative coaching shell at the end of the game leading by a field goal, the Giants took the ball on San Diego four-yard line. Surely they'll score, right? Wrong! On first down, Brandon Jacobs ran to about the one-inch line but it was called back by a hold on Chris Snee. So, first and 14, now. Eli Manning threw a junky, safety valve pass to Hakim Nicks for no gain. On second and 14, Brandon Jacobs ran up the middle for five yards. On third and nine (remember we're at the nine), Jacobs ran again and it was stuffed. On fourth down, the figgie boomed and all the Bolts had to do was score a touchdown to win and that's exactly what they did.

Careful: I really wonder about ESPN bobblehead/analyst Ron Jaworski. While he can analyze tape until his eyes bleed, he gets things wrong a lot: like calling reverses "double reverses" and swearing that Miami had added new plays to the Wildcat. Well, he's done it again by saying something to the effect of"Remember back in 2002 when the Patriots and Josh McDaniels called like 25 straight passes against the Steelers." While the Pats did call 25 straight passes against the Steelers in the Monday Night opener that year, Charlie Weis, not Josh McDaniels called plays for the Flying Elvii. In fact, McDaniels was a defensive coaching assistant for the Pats in 2002. D'oh!

Useless Stats Section:

#1: The Colts have won 17-straight regular-season games.

#2: The Cardinals are the most lopsided team in the NFL on offense. They've throw 325 passes and have 169 rushing attempts. Yet they keep annoying the football purists and are 5-3.

#3: Last week Kurt Warner had one of the worst games of his career, going 27-for-46 for 242-yards, two touchdowns and five interceptions. This week, he bounced back to have one of the best games of his career, going 22-for-31 for 261-yards, five touchdowns and no interceptions. TheDood has always liked Warner, he came from a tiny, D-IAA school and made it in the NFL based on smarts and a lightning-quick, low (almost sidearm in some cases) release in an era where quarterbacks from powerhouse schools with cannons for arms are the sexy choice (like his backup Matt Leinart).

#4: The Giants are on an 0-3 steak, while the Titans are on a 2-0 streak.

#5: Ever since over-paid, diva/wide receiver Michael Crabtree came to the 49ers, they've lost every game (working on an 0-4 streak after starting 3-1). And get Shaun Hill back on the field! Alex Smith is going back to his usual ways of throwing a more interceptions than touchdowns.

#6: The bye week were +4 over the Browns (OK, they weren't but they should've).

#7: The 8-0 Saints have scored 303-points this season. They're on pace to score 606 points this season. The NFL record is 589 points by the 2007 Patriots.

#8: The City of Tampa won their first game since November 30th, 2008.

College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Score #1: Coe 31, Buena Vista 20.

Score #2: Colorado School of Mines 69, New Mexico Highlands 27. TheDoods favorite obscure school, Colorado School of Mines, now at 8-3, beat New Mexico Highlands, now at 1-10. Only Nebraska-Kearney has better record in their division than CSM.

Score #3: St. Olaf 20, Gustavus Adolphus 7. I've found out that many of these really, really obscure schools happen to be rated as some of the highest in the U.S., and St. Olaf, located in Northfield, Minnesota, is no different.

CFSFSYNO Blowout of the Week: Valdosta State 70, Edward Waters 6. Well, of course an entire team would beat up on a single guy.

CFSFSYNHO Basketball/Football Score of the Week: Crown College 69, Eureka College 63.

Christmas Creep: There are two FM radio stations in the Colubmus, Ohio markets that play Christams music beginning the first of November. Beginning at midnight on December 26th, they go back to their usual "Soft Rock" lineup. Oy, vey.

A Win Is A Win, Is A Win

Corks popped in the locker rooms of the Rams and Titans on Sunday as they got off the schnide, finally. Not to mention, the games they played in were pretty good. In other news, the NFL was saved from some woofer games because the Chiefs, Buccaneers, and Redskins all had byes. One more undefeated team went down, as the Broncos got blown out by the Ravens. I'm worried though, because they seemed rather somber after their loss, like they had lost the Super Bowl, or if New Mexico State had beaten Ohio State. Hopefully, they will (they should) rebound and put this loss behind them. In other, other NFL news: we've had a Terrell Owens sighting! He took an End Around for a 29-yard touchdown in the Bills forgetful loss to the Texans. Additionally, how bad do the Giants look? They're coming off three embarrassing losses to teams they should beat. Once again, it seems that their once aggressive defensive line is getting no push and are allowing opposing quarterbacks to sit back and pick them apart. In addition, it seems that the Cardinals and Panthers swapped roles, the Cardinals were turnover-wacky and the Panthers played mistake-free, not to mention, the Cardinals got blown out (like the Panthers have this season). It was a vengeful win for the Panthers, as they avenged a 34-13 thumping in the playoffs last year, where Jake Delhomme threw five interceptions. And lastly, once and for all, we now know which team is supreme in the NFC North, despite what Favre-haters think, he is making that team infinitely better. While the Vikings are talented, they're not Super Bowl-caliber without Favre. Plus, Brad Childress is not an elite head coach. The Packers have loads of problems on all three sides of the ball (why is Ahman Green returning kicks?) that are not Aaron Rodgers' or Mike McCarthy's faults.

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Useless Stats Section:

Stat #1: The Jets gave up 104-yards of offense and lost

Stat #2: Brett Favre is 41 of 59 for 515-yards for seven touchdowns and no interceptions against the Packers

Stat #3: On Sunday, the St. Louis Rams won their first game since October 19th, 2008, a 34-14 win against the Cowboys

Stat #4: On Sunday, the Tennessee Titans won their first game since December 21st, 2008

Stat #5: The City of Tampa Buccaneers did not lose this week. Although, they did not win, either (they had a bye)

Stat #6: highly-overpaid, under-performing Marine Mammals receiver Ted Ginn Jr. outoffensed his entire team by 195-yards, returning two kicks for 299-yards and two touchdowns

Stat #7: in the Titans-Jaguars collision, there were four rushing touchdowns of over 70-yards

Best play by skinny, six-foot tall guy: Rams kicker Josh Brown threw a pass to fullback Daniel Fells for a 36-yard touchdown and first win in over a calender year.

Best Blocks: The clinching blocks on both of Maurice Jones-Drew's long touchdowns were by quarterback David Gerrard. Normally, quarterbacks just hand-off and then stand there and watch the play unfold. But not David Gerrard. That's called leaving it all the field, because all this effort was for naught, as the Titans lost 30-13.

We're All Professionals Here: In the Jets-Miami collision there were three two-point conversion attempts and all three failed.

Why The Raiders Lost: JaMarcus Russell continues to wear stocking caps on the sideline during Raiders games, and this past weekend was no different, as he wore one on the sidelines in San Diego, despite an average temperature of 70-degrees in the month of November there.

College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Concordia University of Illinois 22, Concordia University of Wisconsin 21.

Maine Maritime 76, Coast Guard 49. What? The Coast Guard has a football team? Apparently, they do. They're known as the Bears (as opposed to something more Coast Guard-like). Maine Maritime, located in Castine, Maine, specializes in nautical training and education, and is one of only two colleges in the U.S. that boast a Navy ROTC unit. How's that for obscure.

Nebraska-Kearney 24, Colorado School of Mines 12. Of all these obscure schools, the Colorado School of Mines Orediggers are my favorite for no apparent reason.

Bonus CFSFSYNHO Blowout Score:

Millsaps 61, Sewanee: The University of the South 7. Well, it's impressive when a single college beats a university for an entire region of the United States, especially a blowout. Millsaps was rated the 89th best liberal arts college by the U.S. World & News Report and Sewanee, the 36th.

Bonus CFSFSYNHO Basketball/Football Score:

MacMurray 68, Crown College 62 (OT). Typically, one or two of these obscure schools will end up playing in a football game with a basketball score, and this one was no less than that.

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Christmas Can't Come Soon Enough, I Guess: A 12-pack of Diet Coke that was purchased by yours truly the last week of October is adorned with snow flakes. Yimpin' jimmity.

NFL Week Eight on TV: Down & Dirty

On Sunday, Fox will once again have the double-header. In the Columbus, Ohio TV market, WBNS will show a Browns-Bears pillowfight. Over on WTTE, it will be Colts-49ers at 1:00. This could be considered a "local" matchup, because one fourth of Columbus's football fans are Colts fans. At 4:15 will be undoubtedly the game of the week: Vikings at Packers, Brett Favre's triumphant return to Green Bay for the first time since his retirement from retirement from retirement.

Once More Unto the Breach Against Local Affiliates

Well, once again, the local affiliates in the Columbus, Ohio market have wooed us with woofer games this weekend and sticking with them once they're out of hand for the "local" team. See, Columbus is a weird city, where Ohio State football dominates the town, but the city's NFL fans are split in nearly four equal parts into Browns fans, Bengals fans, Steelers fans, and Colts fans. Meanwhile, WBNS and WTTE, the city's CBS and Fox affiliates that broadcast NFL games on Sunday afternoons typically schedule "local" matchups. Now, that's fine. What really irks me is when A.) they continue to broadcast the game when it's way out of hand for the "local" team and there's a better game out there that they keep showing those game breaks, almost teasing us because we're watching a bad game, or B.) when there's a Browns-Bengals double-header on WBNS and WTTE, who by NFL rules, can only show one game that afternoon, shows a woofer game with no "local" implications. Instead, they should show Fox's #1 game on their lineup that will be called by Joe Buck and Troy Aikman. They have the opportunity to, so why don't they!

On Sunday, WTTE stuck with the Browns-Packers pillowfight into the second half when it was 27-3 and then 34-3 Packers. They could've easily switched to the more exciting and competitive Steelers-Vikings collision. Now, in CBS's defense, none of the games on their lineup were any good, and the affiliate in Columbus showed Jersey/B at Oakland at 4:05. Maybe all the Steeler fans in my area have DirecTV/NFL Sunday Ticket and can watch what games that aren't on SNF or MNF on Sunday afternoons.

It's Not A Double Reverse!: Two ESPN bobbleheads (Chris Berman and Hannah Storm) called Reggie Bush's 10-yard touchdown a "double reverse", which probably has not occurred in the NFL since Super Bowl XIII in 1978, when Drew Pearson took the double reverse from Tony Dorsett and fumbled (check out the complete game on YouTube, it occurred on the fifth play of the game). And more than likely, the Fox commentators said the same thing, too, although I did not see Fox's broadcast. Okay, here's what happened: Drew Bress faked the give to Mike Bell and gave the ball to Devery Henderson coming around from his slotback position (if nothing else would've happened this would simply have been an end around). Then, Henderson gave the ball to Reggie Bush who was coming around from his split end position. The ball only reversed direction once, thus this play was simply a reverse, not a double reverse. Get it right, guys!

Greg Gumbel and Dan Dierdorf, CBS's #2 commatating pair, have called both Raider games against New Jersey (combined score of 82-7 in favor of New Jersey). Aye carumba!

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In other NFL news, maybe the unwritten rule that the over-dressed coaching staff loses the game applies to players, too. JaMarcus Russell wore a stocking cap on the sidelines, despite a gametime temperature in Oakland in the low-70s. Another unwritten rule of football is a successful fake punt/figgie = victory. This was true against the Raiders on Sunday, as the Jersey/B punter Steven Weatherford took a fake punt for 16 yards and a first down. Speaking of Jersey/B, what was Mark Sanchez doing on the field in the fourth quarter! And what was Cedric Benson doing on the field in the fourth quarter for the Bengals! Can't the scabs run up the middle for a few minutes and let the stars cool off?

How about that Cardinals-Jersey/A game, huh? It had to have been one of the best wins in the 110-year history of the Cardinals franchise. The game itself was pretty professional, although there were more than a few turnovers. But, the Giants are really reeling. Their defense just isn't what it was ever since Steve Spagnuolo became head coach of Les Mouflons. In the past two seasons, their defensive line would just make lunch meat of opposing o-lines. But now, their pass rush in rather vanilla and has given too much time for human automatic rifles Drew Brees and Kurt Warner. Whereas the Cardinals defense has been re-vamped. Although their new defense is blitz-wacky, they do it on first and second downs, and play straight coverage on third down (both teams played alot of straight defense on third down). It was nice to see the Cardinals defense win the game for them on a night when their offense wasn't firing on all cylinders.

Who Leads The NFL In Touchdowns Passes?: Why, it's Peyton Manning, of course, with 17.

Can't Anyone Run Up The Middle For A Yard, Anymore?: Apparently no, as the Cardinals forced an Ahmad Bradshaw fumble and took over at their own 42 with 3:52 remaining in the game. They lead by a touchdown. They went incomplete, six-yard pass to Fitzgerald, incomplete, punt. Even if they still wouldn't have gotten a first down, they still would've ran more time off than what they had done. Thankfully, Ben Patrick's punt was good and forced the Giants to start a possible comeback drive at their own nine.

Jim Zorn, whose job title would read "Head Coach of the Washington Redskins" did next to nothing on Monday Night, because "Chainsaw" Dan Snyder yanked play-calling duties from him. Most of us seriously doubt that play-calling are the reasons for the Redskins' woes. It's, well, Snyder himself (and that the Redskins have no talent)! Since he "relieved" Zorn of play-calling duties, Snyder thought Zorn would resign, but because Zorn is such a smart guy, he'll wait for the end of the season so he can get all of his contract money from "Chainsaw" Dan. This act however, was not expected on the part of Mr. Snyder. Dan Snyder, Al Davis, and Jerry Jones are the three menaces to society that are owners of NFL teams. It's scary stuff (just in time for Halloween).

Who Leads The NFL In Rushing?: Why, it's Cincinnati Bengal Cedric Benson, silly!

Sweet Play That Turned Sour: Antrel Rolle, a safety for the Cardinals, lined up at quarterback in the Wildcat and threw a picture-perfect pass to a wide-open Larry Fitzgerald that he dropped as if the ball was a beaker of H1N1. Not to mention, there was a tick-tacky hold called on tight end Ben Patrick.

Useless Stats Section:

Alex Smith, in relief of Shaun Hill, threw more touchdown passes than Matt Schaub and the Squared Sevens lost. Amazingly, Smith threw less interceptions than touchdowns.

Brett Favre threw 51 passes for 334 yards and the Vikings lost.

The Flying Elvii have won their last two games by a combined score of 94-7.

You've just got to feel sorry for Steven Jackson, who himself rushed for 134 yards and Les Mouflons lost their 17th straight game.

The New Orleans Saints have scored 238 points so far this season. They are on-pace to score 634 points. The NFL record is 589 by the 2007 New England Patriots.

The Lucky Charms have won 15 straight regular season games.

Jersey/B has 628 yards rushing in the past two games.

The Broncos did not win a game this weekend (they had a bye).

The Flaming Thumbtacks did not lose a game this weekend (they had a bye).

NEW!! College Football Scores From Schools You've Never Heard Of:

Stillman 42, Lane 20. Stillman, a D-II school located in West Tuscaloosa, Alabama whose mascot is the tigers. Sammie Lee Hill and Brian Witherspoon (no, you're not supposed to know who they are) are alumns in the NFL.

Norwich 48, Anna Maria 0. Well, of course an entire town would beat a single lady! Now, that's not very respectful now, is it?

Concordia-St. Paul 57, Upper Iowa 56 (2OT). A basketball score from two obscure schools. Now, that's what I call football!

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Here is an exclusive video of Reggie Bush's reverse-not-double reverse on ESPN:

Here is another exclusive video of Mark Sanchez eating a hot dog on the sideline. A generous fine is probably on the way (because eating stadium food on the sidelines is against NFL rules).

This Weekend of Yuck

This weekend, Columbus, Ohio's Fox affiliate will be having a Browns-Bengals double-header (they're playing the Packers and Bears, respectively). Over on the city's CBS affiliate will be Jets at Oakland at 4:05. Normally, I would be screaming as to why they scheduled such a crappy-looking game, but the other choices on CBS's schedule are pretty much of equal caliber (Chargers-Chiefs, Colts-Rams, Pats-Bucs [in London], Bills-Panthers and the aforementioned Jets-Raiders). Once again, it looks like Phil Simms and Jim Nantz of CBS will be calling another powerhouse blowout of another cupcake opponent, but in the confines of Wembley Stadium in London, England, where the Pats will not travel to until Friday. I guess this game would be my choice to watch on the eye network, even if the game is bad, at least I'll be getting quality commentary.

This weekend is one where DirecTV's bogus Sunday NFL Ticket package would make sense because three of this Sunday afternoon's premiere matchups will be on Fox (Vikings-Steelers at 1:00 and Falcons-Cowboys or Saints-Dolphins at 4:15).

Six teams have byes this week (Ravens, Broncos, Titans, Jaguars, Lions, and Seahawks). Notice that the teams with byes could be split three ways: cover-your-eyes bad, average and elite. It's amazing that when just two great teams are off, it throws the balance of the TV schedules off so greatly that the "premiere" games of this Sunday afternoon are with the average teams.

SNF is Giants-Cardinals, which was a good one last year, as it should be once again this year. MNF is Redskins-Eagles. Look for the Eagles to pass 40-45 times and rush 10-15 times despite the game either being tied at zero or lead by the Eagles. This is merely an observation, as I enjoy passing teams that are successful because it annoys the purists.

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One More Useless Stat To Ponder: If you extrapolate Drew "Human Automatic Rifle" Brees's current passing stats, he's on pace to throw only six interceptions this season and be sacked only 13 times.

Important: The Pats Did Not Run Up The Score Against the Titans

As much as I'd like to think that the Pats ran up the score on Sunday, they really didn't, despite winning 59-0. 45 of those points came in the first half, and their final touchdown came with the backup offense on the field in the third quarter. I watched the game until CBS cut away after New England scored their 52nd point. The second reason why the Patriots were able to score that many points was because the Titans just did not show up at all. They really didn't. Despite having 193 yards rushing, the Titans only complied -7 yards passing on only two completions. And obviously their defense was non-existent, giving up 619 yards of offense (426 by the pass, 193 on the ground) and 32 first downs.

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In 2008, the Titans and Buccaneers had a combined record of 24-10. Through week 6 of 2009 they are a combined 0-12.

The New York Jets compiled 312 rushing yards and lost.

Drew Bledose's Single-Season Pass Attempts Record is Safe: Tom Brady has thrown 241 passes so far this season. He is on pace to throw 642 passes this season, well short of Drew Bledsoe's mark of 691 from 1994.

Joe Flacco passed for 385 yards and the Ravens lost.

All four of the Washington Redskins' losses have come to teams that were previously winless (Giants, Lions, Panthers and Chiefs).

The two wins by the Redskins were by differentials of two (9-7) and three (16-13).

Derek Anderson, who has taken nearly all of Cleveland's offensive snaps in the past two games, has 11 pass completions during that span. One of which was a win.

In the first three weeks of this season Mark Sanchez threw four touchdowns to two interceptions. In the past three weeks, he has thrown one touchdown and eight interceptions.

The Giants-Saints game kicked off shortly after 1:00 PM Eastern. The game ended at 4:30 PM Eastern. It did not go into overtime (the Saints won 48-27). Reason being: both teams kept throwing the ball well into the fourth quarter, prolonging the game.

The Jets-Bills game kicked off shortly after 4:00 PM Eastern. The game ended at 8:07 PM when Rian Lindell, who honked an earlier kick, booted the game-winning figgie with 2:49 left in overtime.

The Falcons-Bears game kicked off shortly before 8:30 PM Eastern. It ended at 11:27 PM Eastern (roughly two hours and 59 minutes in length), becoming one of the shortest games in TheDood's recent memory.

The Over-Dressed Coach Won!: One thing I notice is that the team with the over-dressed coaching staff loses. This was untrue last night as Josh McDaniels of the Broncos wore a hoodie and baseball cap, when the average high in San Diego in October is still 75. Losing coach Norv Turner sported simply a polo shirt.

Going back to last season's playoffs, Jake Delhomme has thrown 15 interceptions in the past six games and threw another pick-six against City of Tampa on Sunday.

Ay Carumba!

WBNS, the CBS affiliate in Columbus, OH decided to show Oranges (Release 3.0b) at Steelers, which should be over by halftime, instead of Moo Cows at Cats at 1:00 PM Eastern. Ay carumba. And if it's 45-3 Steelers going into the 4th Quarter, they will undoubtedly show every coma-inducing snap of the final 15 minutes. The only consolation is that over on WTTE, Columbus's Fox affiliate, will have Jersey/A at Saints.

The second half of CBS's double-header will be Flaming Thumbtacks at Flying Elvii (upset special, anyone?). There is no game on Fox in my area at 4:05 or 4:15.

The best game of the week should be on Sunday night, just the way the NFL wants it to be (Bears at Falcons). And the Monday night game is the 5-0 Broncs and the 2-2 Bolts. Again, should be a good one.

The Broncos Unis Shall Be Kept Out of Reach of Children

For how bad the Broncos uniforms are pretty much equals how good the team is. Their win confirm at least one thing: Josh McDaniels is indeed a human being and not the robotic, pompous, know-it-all that his so-called "mentor" Bill Belichick is, who faked trying to look for his student whom beat him on the field, to go back into the locker room to cry with his team like the poor losers that the Flying Elvii are. Now back to McDaniels, I've had change of heart about him. He obviously hasn't gotten his emotional spark from Bill Belichick, it must be something he has in him. Which is good because that means he's not a complete clone from Belichick, like say, Eric Mangini is. Although I'm still sort of discouraged about the bonehead, rookie coaching decisions he made in the off-season. But the Broncos are 5-0. 'Nuff said.

Once again, complaints will be made about the NFL's overtime rule, because the Patriots never got a chance to get the ball on offense. However, they had plenty of chances on defense to stop the Broncos, including a 3rd & 1 at the Pats' 48 where they passed.

One LOL from the game was that Kyle Orton's Hail Mary pass to close out the 1st half was intercepted by Randy Moss, who could not catch a pass from Tom Brady in the 1st half (although in his defense, he wasn't thrown to).

TheDood has formally renamed the Cincinnati Tootsie-Rolls/Bengals into the Cardiac Cats because of their thrilling finishes. A doctor is now on-hand to get blood pressure readings from TheDood throughout the 4th Quarters of Bengals games.

Cedric Benson is the first 100-yard rusher against the Nevermores since November of 2006 when Larry Johnson did it.

So, the Squared Sevens aren't invincible, anymore. Roddy White, who had the best receiving year in the franchise history of the Atlanta Falcons last year, caught 8 passes for 210 yards and 2 touchdowns on Sunday. I took enjoyment out of watching wackjob/hall-of-fame linebacker/coach Mike Singletary spewing made-for-TV insults at a public library conversation decibel level at his players on the sideline.

How has putz/owner of the Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons Dan Snyder not fired Jim Zorn, yet? They averted the Carolina Panthers' perfect season yesterday by losing to them. Remember, he fired Norv Turner in 2000 in the midst of their playoff run, hired and fired Marty Schottenheimer after an 8-8 season, hired and fired Steve Spurrier after he failed to run up scores against the NFC East, went back into the history of the Persons' by hiring and firing Joe Gibbs, and forced him to change his offensive scheme after a run where they averaged 35 points a game. Although, if Zorn were to be fired, Snyder would have to fill three coaching positions because Zorn is the head coach, the quarterbacks coach, and the offensive coordinator.

The Oranges (Release 3.0b) also averted a perfect season by beating the Bills 6-3 in the Lehman Bros. Game of the Week. Derek Anderson completed 2 of 17 passes for 23 yards and an interception. Although Jamal Lewis carried 31 times for 117 yards.

The Lucky Charms have won 14 straight games going back to last season and whaddaya know, they play Les Mouflons next week, losers of 15 straight.

Tom Brady through five games, has thrown 207 passes (he had a mere 33 on Sunday). That's a rounded average of 41 per game. He's on pace to throw 662 passes this season, so it looks like Drew Bledsoe's 1994 record of 691 is safe, for now.

Welcome Back Matt Hasselbeck!: He merely fired 4 touchdowns and pitched a shutout against the amazingly average Jaguars.

Welcome Back Donovan McNabb!: He merely fired 3 touchdowns of 51, 20, and 40 yards, bruised rib and all against the perfect City of Tampa.

How bad are the Raiders?: So bad that they only passed 13 times in a 44-7 loss to Jersey/A. Even though the Raiders were out of it the moment the opening kick boomed, they surely should've attempted to fight and comeback.

Here is a Dood Super-Duper Blog of NFL Footballness exclusive: This year, especially, there seems to be a huge disparity between the good teams and the bad teams. There are still five undefeated teams (Colts, Vikings, Saints, Broncos, Jersey/A) and four defeated teams (Chiefs, Titans, Rams, City of Tampa) with only a couple of average teams (Cardinals, Jaguars, and Steelers come to mind). Of those, the four ultimate losers are nowhere near the same level as even the average teams. With all of the great quarterback play the past season (Manning, Warner, Roethlisberger, Brees, Manning, Rodgers, Cutler, Favre, McNabb, Pennington, Schaub, Rivers all had good years) those crappy teams are the only ones that didn't have a remotely good quarterback. Hell, even journeymen Gus Frerotte was 8-3 as a starter despite throwing 15 interceptions to 12 touchdowns with the Vikings, last year (check out his page on pro-football-reference.com. It's mighty colorful.). Remember this is a Dood Super-Duper Blog of NFL Footballness Exclusive.

Now that the NFL week is over, I can now reflect upon the great Monday Night game that was played last night. The Jersey/B defense looked confused and seemed to over-pursue too much, and biting on every play-action fake by the Marine Mammals. And they also seemed to just watch in awe of the Wildcat, which should take none by surprise, but it still does after nearly two years in the NFL. Despite the over-pursuing Jersey/B defense, the Marine Mammals rushers were still able to break tackles and get big gains. Ricky Williams, 32, in his 11th NFL season, had 68 yards on 11 carries. His longest rush was 18 yards, and it was on the "Speed Sweep" play from the Wildcat, which Ron Jaworski vehemently said was "a new look from the Wildcat offense". Needless to say I laughed and thought "Jaws, you're smarter than that. You could've looked up 'Wildcat formation' on Wikipedia, or read my blog!".

Free Games Are Feast or Famine

That's right. In the past weeks, I've complained about the woofer games that were shown in my area for free. Now, this weekend, the Bolts, Bears, Packers, and Saints, all quality teams for the most part, have byes. In fact, the games this weekend are so bad that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman are calling a game involving the perfect 0-4 Chiefs and the sputtering Cowboys. This game will not be shown in my area, with WTTE opting to show the movie Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. They will however, join Fox's coverage of the NFL at 4:05 to show the 49ers vs Falcons, probably the 2nd best Sunday game. WBNS will have a double-header, the 1:02 game will be Tootsie-Rolls @ Nevermores, a great AFC North matchup which will decide who will lead the division (they're tied for first), not that it matters as much because we're only a quarter of the way through the season, but it's a game, nonetheless. The 4:15 will be the nationally televised Flying Elvii @ Broncos with Phil Simms and Jim Nantz at the mike.

The Sunday night game is a woofer, Lucky Charms @ Flaming Thumbtacks. The Lucky Charms have been in three nationally televised games in so many weeks and the Flaming Thumbtacks are a perfect 0-4. The Monday night game is Jersey/B @ Marine Mammals. Should be a good one.

Going back to this blog's title, it's interesting that in a week with mostly woofer games, my area gets all the premiere matchups. The Browns do play on Sunday, at 1:00 in Buffalo, which, thankfully, won't be shown outside those team's markets. I still go back to Week 2, when WTTE had scheduled Saints @ Eagles for their 1:00 game, but wound up showing Vikings @ Peugeots instead. I've seen all Vikings games except for the one against the Squared Sevens. Conversely, I have not seen any Saints or Bears games, other than the first one against Green Bay, where the Bears were still in training camp for all intensive purposes.

Who Says You Don't Need Talent To Win in the NFL?

Apparently, Eric Mangini does. Because he quickly seconed manangment's decision to dump Braylon Edwards, who despite his "Hands of Stone" nature, was Browns' only deep threat. TheDood always found it weird that he could never make catches that 90% of other NFL receivers could make blindfolded, but can make those one-handed circus catches that appear on SportsCenter. And who have the Browns gotten in place of Edwards, a bunch of Jet backups who will undoubtedly be starters on the Browns because all of the Browns starters would be backups on other teams.

What makes me the most mad about this trade is that Eric Mangini was again has been blinded by his own System. Eric Mangini is a disciple of the great Bill Parcells, along with Tom Coughlin, Bill Belichick, Tony Sporano, and now Josh McDaniels. Bill Belichick took on the role of pompous, know-it-all, who was ran out of Cleveland, a working-class town, because of his pompous, know-it-allness. Whereas Marty Schottenheimer and countless other winning coaches for the Browns were working-class guys.

Parcells and his assistants created a system, which is essentially "We're a team. Nobody is above it, nobody is below it." Guys like Belichick and his little student, Eric Mangini have taken this philosophy too seriously. Thing is, the Patriots are actually a talented team, the Jets under Mangini weren't, and the Browns are not. If you remember back to 2000, when Belichick was hired as coach of Patriots, it was viewed as a mistake. The Pats only went 5-11, they had no running game and a piss-poor defensive secondary, which were key to their Super Bowl victory the next season (that and cameras and videotapes. Oh, wait. I'm not supposed to say that!).

When Josh McDaniels was hired as head coach of the Broncos, I did not think they would be anywhere near where they are today. But unlike Mangini, McDaniels recognizes that you actually need talent to win! Which I believe is why he kept diva/wide receiver Brandon Marshall, because he's a great talent on the field (plus, it seems that McDaniels and Marshall have made peace).

Mangini is so blinded by The System that he takes his no bullshit mentality so seriously that he's jeopardizing his team's success. And not winning leads to grumpy players and grumpy players are bound to do something dumb and get fined or cut.

One thing that has set Parcells, Sporano, Belichick, and Coughlin apart are that are willing to change. They become either looser or tighter depending on the team they're coaching. They're willing to try new things. Most recently, Parcells and Sporano were willing to use the Wildcat. Belichick was willing to change the Patriots' offense from conservative and run-based, to wide-open and pass-wacky. Coughlin got nice and his team won a Super Bowl. Parcells won two Super Bowls with stellar defense and a conservative, run-based offense with the Giants. When he became head coach of the Patriots, they had no running game, but a young, All-Pro quarterback and tight end, so he made the Patriots a passing team that set numerous records for completions and attempts. This lead to a playoff birth for the Pats in 1994. They had a quick exit thanks to none other than Belichick's Browns. In 1996 the Pats lost the Super Bowl. That season, despite with Curtis Martin putting up All-Pro numbers, Drew Bledsoe still led the league in pass completions and attempts. They also had diva wide receiver in Terry Glenn (much like Brandon Marshall), whom Parcells butted heads with because he did not want to use his #1 draft pick on him. Although Robert Kraft, one of the great owners, wanted another deep threat to help out Ben Coates, even though Parcells always likes to use his first draft pick on a defensive player. This lack to total control was the major factor in Parcells retiring after the Super Bowl. In fact, he disliked Glenn so much that when Parcells became head coach of the Cowboys in 2003, he invited him to come to Dallas (notice the sarcasm in my words) to become one of the best receivers in the league.

But, nope. No change for Mangini. He fells he's the king of the team and how dare you have the right to know what's happening with the football team, where your tax dollars finance the stadium and the player's salaries. And you don't need talent, just The Almighty System.

Three Jeers

Here are some sour plays from this past weekend of footballness:

The Houston Texans scored 9-points in 12-seconds against the Raiders (a safety, and then they returned the free kick for a touchdown).

Matt Cassel, who recently signed one of the richest contracts in football history, averaged 2.4 yards per pass attempt on 32 throws. JaMarcus Russell, the first overall choice in the 2007 draft, after which he signed one of the richest contracts in football history, averaged 3.4 yards per pass attempt on 33 throws.

While this one is not football related, I found it is a jeer. This is a direct quote from the latest Tuesday Morning Quarterback column, which can be found on ESPN.com Page 2: "David Iott of New Bern, N.C., reports, 'On September 29th, I went shopping at Old Navy in Jacksonville, North Carolina. As I walked in the store, I was greeted by a sign announcing, 'It's Sweater Weather!' The average high for September 29 in Jacksonville is 80 degrees. Do people lie on sweaters at the beach, instead of on towels?'".

The Ballad of the Squared Sevens

Even though TheDood thinks that Squared Sevens coach and hall-of-fame linebacker Mike Singletary is crazy, I'm glad that they seem to be on a winning track, after years of bad ownership decisions about personnel and talent. TheDood takes you back to the last time San Francisco was a playoff team:

It was 2002, the Squared Sevens were 10-6 and had won the NFC West. Steve Mariucci was a 57-39 coach, Jeff Garcia and Terrell Owens were one of the elite quarterback-receiver tandems in the league, they had won one of the most exciting playoff games in NFL history. Then it all came to a screeching halt in the divisional playoffs against City of Tampa, the eventual Super Bowl champs. Steve Mariucci gets fired after compiling a 57-39 record, although he was quickly picked up by Detroit. He would go 15-28 and be fired 11-games into the 2005 season. He was replaced in San Francisco by Dennis Erickson, who was hardly mediocre, at 31-33 with the Seahawks, but not 57-39. The Squared Sevens dumped their fabled West Coast Offense, instead opting for Erickson's college-style, three-wide receiver, vertical passing game. "McSrambles", as Squared Sevens fans called Jeff Garcia, got hurt and wasn't playing well in the first place. Terrell Owens started to complain. Then, there was a glimmer of hope, when Tim Rattay replaced Garcia, going 2-1, throwing seven touchdowns to only two interceptions. The Squared Sevens finished 7-9, missing the playoffs, and were third in the division. So in response, Jeff Garcia scrambled his way to Cleveland, Garrison Hearst went to Denver, Terrell Owens went to Philadelphia and went to the Super Bowl. San Francisco won two games in 2004, with Rattay sharing time with Ken Dorsey and their leading receiver was Eric Johnson, a tight end. Dennis Erickson was fired. The 'Niners savior was to be Nolan the Younger, son of legendary Squared Sevens coach Dick Nolan from the 60s and 70s. Plus, they drafted Frank Gore and Alex Smith. The next Barry Sanders and Joe Montana, right?

Wrong. They won four games in 2005. Alex Smith threw one touchdown to 11 interceptions. The team's sole shining light, Tim Rattay, was traded to City of Tampa, to become a backup at season's end.

Things improved in '06, as the Niners won seven games and Alex Smith *ONLY* threw 16 interceptions. But still, the next Joe Montana. In '07, they started off 2-0 against divisional opponents. They would only win three more games the rest of the year and were ranked last in points scored. The Next Joe Montana Named Alex Smith was benched in favor of wiley, old Trent Dilfer, although Frank Gore and Arnaz Battle played solidly. At the end of the season, Trent Dilfer retired to the TV studio.

Things looked good going into '08. Mike Martz was hired as offensive coordinator, with he and Nolan the Younger having full confidence in J.T. O'Sullivan. The Squarted Sevens started off 2-1, with Nolan staying out of Martz's way with play-calling. But, again, things began to unravel. Sitting at a 2-5 record, Nolan the Younger was fired, and much to my chagrin, defensive coordinator Mike Singletary was promoted to interim coach and not the offensive genius, Martz (how many NFL teams can have the notoriety of having three Mikes on their staff?). Singletary immediately benched O'Sullivan in favor of Shaun Hill. The 'Niners went 5-4 with Singletary as interim coach and haven't looked back since.

Jersey/B Reality Check and How 'Bout Those Broncos/Bears/Bengals/Saints/49ers

Jersey/B got a reality check on Sunday against the Saints, who must be for real, because they beat a blitz-happy defense and a team riding a huge surge of emotion with a rookie quarterback and coach. But because of this loss, Mark Sanchez should be benched and Rex Ryan should be fired, right? Not so fast.

The Saints are just so much more balanced than they have been the past several seasons, even though Reggie Bush is quickly becoming an NFL bust. Pierre Thomas and Mike Bell are taking a lot of pressure off of Drew Bress, who, in the first two weeks of the season, threw 9 touchdown passes, but in the past two weeks has thrown no touchdown passes. I think Tom Brady's 2007 touchdown pass record is safe, as Drew Brees is now on pace to throw a mere 36 touchdowns. With their 24-point showing, the Saints are now on pace to score 576 points, dropping their projected total to less than the '07 Flying Elvii's 589. They are also more balanced, meaning that it seems that they now have a defense to go along with their offense. Mark Sanchez certainly looked like a rookie and threw a bonehead interception to Darren Sharper that was returned for a touchdown. Now, I will be the first to say that the majority of NFL interceptions are the receiver's fault, but the one by Sanchez was all on him.

The Flaming Thumbtacks have surpassed their loss total from last year, they are now 0-4. They were 13-3 last season.

Drew Bledsoe Watch Out: Tom Brady so far this season has thrown 174 passes, that's an average of 44 per game. He's on pace to throw 696 passes this season. The NFL record for a single passer is 691 (Drew Bledsoe, 1994).

Since throwing one touchdown and four interceptions against the Packers in Week 1, Jay Cutler has thrown seven touchdowns to only one interception. I guess that trade wasn't a disaster, after all? However, imagine how good the Broncos would be if they had kept him?

If Brandon Stokley hadn't converted the "Immaculate Deflection", the Tootsie-Rolls would be leading the AFC North, because the Nevermores lost to the Flying Elvii, today. This is the same division with the reigning world champion Steelers, who are 2-2.

If Brandon Stokley hadn't converted the "Immaculate Deflection", the Broncos would be 3-1. But they have beaten the Cowboys, who are supposed to be one of the elite teams in the NFL, I think they're on the fringe of mediocrity. However, the Broncos have historically had a huge home-field advantage and supposedly, they have a hard schedule coming up.

Shaun Hill has thrown 23 touchdowns to 10 interceptions on his career. He had a record of 2-0 in '07 (they only had five wins that season), 5-3 in '08, and, so far, 3-1 in '09. All of his touchdowns have come as a member of the Squared Sevens. For San Francisco's sake, it seems the legacy of Nolan the Younger is fortunately vanishing.

Not To Worry, San Diego: Ever since Norv Turner became head coach, The Bolts have gotten off to very slow starts, and then roar back in December, making deep playoff runs the past two seasons. They lost the AFC Championship in '07 to the mythical Flying Elvii, and lost in the divisional round last year to the world champion Steelers at Ketchup Field.

Excluding their quick playoff exit last season, the Lucky Charms have won 12 straight games and Peyton Manning is looking as commanding as ever. Conversely, Les Mouflons have lost 14 straight games.

There is Nothing Wrong With the NFL's Overtime Rules

TheDood is currently watching the "Battle of Ohio" slugfest, which has gone into overtime. Many prognosticators just absolutely hate the NFL's overtime rule pointing to that a coin toss determines the game, and that the losing team should get a chance to possess the ball. Well, in fact the team that loses the toss does get a chance to get the ball... on defense. It all comes down to that the toss's losing team's defense can't stop the toss's wining team's offense. That's it! If your defense can't stop the opposing offense then you deserve to lose! Many want college's horrible system of overtime. TheDood believes that the college overtime should be the same as NFL overtime, although that will never, ever be considered.

As I type this, there is 7:24 left in the overtime period, whether the Browns win, whether the Bengals win, or whether the game ends in a tie, the Browns seemed to have played much better, and I believe for one sole reason: Derek Anderson started the game. He has always seemed to be more in-sync with the receivers, even with the "Hands of Stone" Braylon Edwards. The Browns have managed to score more touchdowns in one game than what they could do in the past nine (going back to last season a bit). D.A. threw for a touchdown and ran for another, which was something Brady Quinn couldn't do in a normal game situation (he only threw one touchdown pass and that was against Minnesota's Prevent defense in the final seconds of a blowout loss). Does this make Eric Mangini a slightly better hire, even if they go on to lose or tie? Maybe. But in my eyes, no, because I did not like him as the coach in New York.

Look for an opinion piece about Mangini in the coming days.

TheDood, out, with 3:23 left in overtime.

WTTE to Show Good Games, Today

WTTE, the Fox affiliate in Columbus, Ohio, will show Seattle Green Men Group @ Lucky Charms at 1:00 PM and Denver @ Dallas at 4:15 PM. While CBS is just showing local coverage, there are no nationally televised games today on CBS, today.

On a different note: Remember the show Sunday NFL Countdown? It was a rapid-fire show with just Tom Jackson and Chris Berman that aired at either 7:00 or 7:30 PM before ESPN's Sunday night game. When ESPN no longer showed games on Sunday night, followers of the show worried that it would no longer be around. But never fear. Beginning with the
11:00 PM SportsCenter, Jackson and Berman host a segment called "The Blitz", which is essentially the same as their old show, the same music, the same rapid-fire format, etc. My recommendation would be to tape ESPN from 11:00 PM to 3:30 AM the next morning, because typically NBC's SNF game has not ended by 11:00 PM, and because that game is the premier match up of the week, they want to analyse it.

This Weekend of Woofer Games

This weekend in the Columbus, Ohio TV market, there will be a double-header on Fox, whose games have not been announced at this writing (11:00 pm on Friday). While on CBS, there will just be one 1:00 pm game, the bi-annual "Battle of Ohio" between the Tootsie-Rolls and the Oranges. Now, I could go into specifics on how terrible of a coach Eric Mangini is, and how the Oranges' as a whole are in shambles, but I won't (maybe later). The Tootsie-Rolls should win and I believe they will win.

Because of my Ohio location, I will miss CBS's premiere game, Nevermores vs Flying Elvii, damn it!

None of the 1:00 Fox games look all that intriguing: Peugeots @ Bears, Seattle Green Men Group @ Lucky Charms, Jersey/A @ Chiefs, and City of Tampa @ Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons. More than likely, I will see either Jersey/A @ Chiefs or Seattle Green Men Group @ Lucky Charms. I seem to remember last week that Fox was hyping Broncos @ Cowboys as being their premiere game for this Sunday (and as the only other 4:00 game on Fox is Mouflons @ Squared Sevens, which will hopefully only be shown in those teams' home markets!).

The Sunday night game is Bolts @ Steelers, I'm not waiting on pins and needles for this one, but I'll undoubtedly watch it.

This week's best game will be on Monday Night (although I wish it was the *REAL* MNF back on the alphabet network) as Brett Favre will face the Packers for the first time since his retirement, since his retirement, this time at home in the Twin Cities. MNF analyst Jon Gruden has a interesting personal connection to Favre: when Favre was traded from Atlanta, Gruden (who was a Packers Offensive Assistant) picked Favre up at the Green Bay Airport.

The Cowboys Need Jon Ritchie!

Remember Jon Ritchie? He was a premier fullback for the Raiders and Eagles, who, although never carried that much, was a great blocker and pass-receiver. He's now an analyst for First Take on ESPN, which is an abomination of a show, but has one shining light, which is Jon Ritchie. He was talking about the Cowboys great running game and if only they had Ritchie to lead block!

Anywho, the Panthers really, really suck. Jake "The Snake" Delhomme is going to slither is way to leading the league in interceptions this year. He's thrown 7 already, on pace for 37, which undoubtedly is the most interceptions thrown by a quarterback in probably 40 years. I seem to remember that reading that George Blanda threw like 45 INTs in either '63 or '64 and Frank Tripucka threw a ton of interceptions for the early Broncos. And the difference is those were passing teams! Just imagine how many picks Delhomme would throw if the Panthers were a passing team! Now, I'm not saying that he will definitely throw 37 interceptions, but he'll throw a lot in a league today where 20 interceptions on the season is considered a lot.

Damn shame to see Chad Pennington hurt again. He can't seem to muster two consecutive good season (he always flip-flops from bad to good, back to bad, then back to good). He has yet another shoulder injury that will need surgery, he's likely not to return this season and may end up retiring. He's 33.

The Titans, Dolphins, and Panthers, all three of which were division winners last year, are a combinded 0-9.

Week III

Intriguing week that isn't over, yet. I saw both of the #1 games on each network for free.

Well, the Patriots can run the ball, but Tom Brady still threw 42 passes. His season average is down from 800, to 757. The NFL record for a single quarterback is 691 (Drew Bledsoe, 1994).

Drew Brees's not throwing a touchdown really hurt is chances of stealing the record. His pace is down to 48, which would tie Dan Marino of 1984. Despite this, the Saints won 27-7 and have already scored 120 points this season. That's an average of 40 points a game, on pace for 640 on the season, an NFL record, beating the Patriots of 2007, who scored 589 points.

The Tootsie-Roll-Steelers game was a good one, coming down to the waning seconds. The Steelers are really reeling, they can't seem to run the ball, have trouble stopping the pass, and protecting Ben Roethlisberger.

The Steelers came out in a very odd Hail Mary formation, Roethlisberger was in the Shotgun (no surprise there), but there were only three-wide receivers in the formation, with two backs in the backfield (no sure if it was a fullback, tight end, or a fourth-wide receiver). Also the Bengals rushed three and dropped eight, usually in Hail Mary situations, a defense will rush one and drop the remaining ten. Probably, Big Ben saw that there was a three-man rush, and changed the formation (I'll have to go back to my recording to look and verify this). Despite this, the Tootsie-Rolls still nearly picked it off, it went through the hands of a Tootsie-Roll defender, and clanged incomplete. Game over.

Speaking of Hail Maries, the Marine Mammals also came out in another odd Hail Mary formation last week against the Lucky Charms. Chad Pennington was *UNDER CENTER* and there were five-wide receivers, a la the Flutie Miracle from 1984. Pennington even rolled-out right, but his pass was picked off in the end zone.

Tonight's Cowboys-Panthers game should be a snorefest, there are plenty of other things to watch on TV, and TheDood will probably this game on some old technology called VHS.

What the Hell are the Seattle Blue Men Group Wearing?

Or should I say the Seattle Neons? I can honestly say, I have never seen sillier uniforms on a professional sports team. They should break out the throwbacks, like many of the other NFL teams seem to be doing, because the original (1976-2001) Seahawks unis looked cool.

The "Deciders" Have Come Through

WTTE has fired up the satellite, and is showing a real game, Falcons @ Patriots, being called by Joe Buck, Troy Aikman, and Pam Oliver, Fox's #1 commentating teir.

TheDood's TV Schedule For Tomorrow

Well, after watching Ohio State knock-off Illinois 30-0, I'm now watch every coma-inducing snap of the Texas-UTEP woofer ('Horns currently lead 64-7). And I'll probably record the Texas Tech-Houston game, as it's scheduled for a 9:15 p.m. ET start time.

But let's look toward tomorrow:

WBNS again has an Oranges (Release 3.0b)-Tootsie Rolls double-header. I'm fulling expecting the Oranges (Release 3.0b) to now go nine games with only one offensive touchdown against the stellar Nevermores. That game is scheduled for a 1:02 p.m. start. On WTTE's website, they *LIST* that they will show Typos @ Flying Elvii, but if last week was any indication, their program director will "call an audible" and switch to a woofer, like Potomac Drainage Basin Indigenous Persons @ Peugeots, or Packers @ Mouflons. And once again, there are only two late games on Fox, which will only be shown in those teams' respective markets. The other late game on WBNS (CBS) is Steelers @ Tootsie-Rolls, which should actually be a good one, Pittsburgh is hurt, can't run the ball or pass block. The Tootsie-Rolls scored 31 points and sacked the quarterback 5 times, which they should get close to that against the Steelers' piss-poor O-Line, and not to mention, they won on the road.

The two games that everybody can see (if you have basic cable, that is) are Lucky Charms @ Cardinals and Panthers @ Cowboys. The SNF game should be good, hopefully an offensive shootout, the Colts D isn't as good as it has been, but, you can't say the same about the Cardinals D. I'm hoping that Dallas can pull itself together and actually win and that's easily plausible because the Panthers suck. So far, Jake Delhomme has thrown a league-leading 5 interceptions (that means he's thrown 10 interceptions since the last regular season ended). Although Marion Barber is injured, the Cowboys have two other running backs that could be starters on other NFL teams, and there's less pressure on Romo to get a certain somebody the ball.

I will have an as-it-happens update as to what game WTTE decides to carry, so stay tuned.

Wild Cats

The Wildcat formation has taken football on all levels by storm, ever since the Miami Dolphins ran six Wildcat plays and scored five touchdowns against the Patriots. Their
Quarterbacks Coach, David Lee ran the offense at Arkansas. There are really only three plays that are included in the formation (Speed Sweep, QB Counter, Split Zone). In the context of the Dolphins, Speed Sweep is where Ricky Williams will be in motion when the ball is snapped and Ronnie Brown will give Williams the ball, Williams will take it right end. QB Counter is the same as Speed Sweep, except for that Ronnie Brown keeps the ball, fakes the give to Williams, and runs up the middle. Split Zone is where the ball is directly snapped to Ronnie Brown and he simply runs up the middle (no motion, or fakes). The formation itself consists of an unbalanced line, with a guard, an eligible tight end (in the Dolphins' case Anthony Fasano), and a slot receiver (typically a running back, in the Dolphins' case Ricky Williams) to the left of the center. To his right, there are two tackles, another receiver (Ted Ginn Jr.), and the quarterback (Chad Pennington).

This formation took the NFL by storm in 2008, with nearly every team attempting to use it in games, but really only the Dolphins utilized it well (although admittedly, they usually had less than 10 Wildcat snaps per game, defenses probably game-planned for the Wildcat, while their regular offense was able to move the ball).

An interesting case is Michael Vick, whom, undoubtedly, have to run a few wildcat plays, because of his athleticism. But what most teams who copied the Dolphins seemed to have forgotten is what its original purpose is: to run with the football. Nearly all teams that copied it tried to do these epic gadget passes (look for the Eagles to do this with Vick) that don't work.

Other prognosticators point to that the Wildcat is a modern-day instillation of the Single-wing formation, which is only half-right (the overused Shotgun formation is more a kin to the Single-wing than the Wildcat). The Single-wing was used in the NFL in the 20s and 30s, both on offense and defense (because all 11 players were two-way players back then). The formation consisted of 5 lineman (two tackles, two guards, and a center), two "ends" (which would evolve to the tight end and split end positions), a quarterback, a left halfback, a right halfback, and a fullback. The quarterback would line-up roughly 5 yards behind center (which is why I think this is similar to the Shotgun), along with the three running backs. The ball could be snapped to any of the four men and any four of them would run with the ball or pass it to one of the other, or one of the 2 ends. The ball could also be snapped to the quarterback and he would pitch or lateral the ball to one of the backs. This lost its favor to the T formation, which was no different except for that the quarterback would be under center and not run as much with the ball. The formation took the NFL by storm when the Bears beat the Redskins 73-0 in the 1940 Championship Game, where the Bears scored 6 rushing touchdowns. One holdout was the Pittsburgh Steelers, who utilized the Single-wing until 1952, which is when many teams were running plays from both the T and Pro formations, with one halfback, a fullback, a flanker, a split end, and a tight end (still a staple of NFL offenses today). The NFL flanker of the 50s would be a guy who could either be one of the halfbacks in the T formation or a wide receiver in the Pro formation (examples would be Lenny Moore and Frank Gifford, and later on Charley Taylor). Although by the twilight of all three of these men's careers, they would be receivers-only, because their teams only ran the Pro formation by that time.

WTF Game on Monday Night

The Colts won last night's game with only 14 1st Downs and 35 offensive plays. Despite having about 2 1/2 less times the plays of the Dolphins, the Colts gained only 47 less yards. The Colts did however, have 131 more passing yards than the Dolphins. While, the Dolphins had 239 yards rushing, to the Colts' 61. But the most striking stat of all was the disparity in time of possession. The Dolphins possessed the ball for 45:07 (just a hair over 3 quarters), while the Colts possessed the ball for 14:53 (just a hair under 1 quarter). The Dolphins, also, only had 1 turnover.

More Random Statgeekery: Ted Ginn Jr. caught half of Chad Pennington's completions and Dallas Clark caught half of Peyton Manning's completions.

Here are some other games from TheDood's memory bank where there were huge disparities in time of possession: On November 4th, 2002, the Oakland Raiders and the San Francisco 49ers played in a nationally televised "Battle of the Bay", which was hyped as Jerry Rice's return to Candlestick Park. The 49ers won 23-20 in overtime, where they would possess the ball for 44:33. The Raiders possessed it for 24:08 (remember this game went into overtime) and had 50 offensive plays to the 49ers' 84. The Raiders had half as many 1st downs as the 49ers (15-30). In the 2nd half the Raiders only had 2 possessions. Although in the 4th Quarter the Raiders took the ball with 12:57 remaining, and were able to milk it down to 6:33, where Charlie Garner scored a 10-yard touchdown. The 49ers would then take the ball and run the rest of the time out. They then won the overtime coin toss and took the ball to Oakland 5 to kick the game-winning figgie.

On December 8th, 2002, the Houston Texans beat the Pittsburgh Steelers 24-6 in a game where they only had 47-yards of offense and 40 offensive plays. The Steelers, on the other hand, ran 95 offensive plays (58 passes, 31 rushes) and 422 yards of offense. The Texans had only 3 1st Downs, 37-yards rushing on a whopping 26 attempts, and only 10 net passing yards. David Carr was sacked four times for 23 yards, and they were an atrocious 1/12 on 3rd Down. In the 1st quarter, the Texans roared to a 14-0 lead, on a Kenny Wright fumble return, and an Aaron Glenn interception return. In the 2nd and 3rd quarters, Josh Reed kicked field goals, bringing the score to 14-6 at the beginning of the final quarter. Then Kris Brown would kick a field goal and Aaron Glenn returned yet another interception. This was by far the weirdest game in NFL history, if any of you know another, let me know.